What would you do if you learned someone very close to you has been cheating on their partner?

An internet user asked, “Am I a jerk for causing my sister’s breakup?”. Let us know what you think in the comments section!


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The Original Poster (OP) and her sister always had their differences. 

“I love her to death, but in my eyes, she’s very irresponsible and erratic. She never finished college and has a new Multilevel Marketing (MLM) to hawk every year.”, says OP. 


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When OP’s sister gets a real job, it’s mostly something commission-based to skate by on her looks. She doesn’t have a plan for the future and spends her money whenever she gets it. 

“She also has two kids. All things considered, my nephews are very well-adjusted. Their fathers aren’t in the picture.”, says OP. 


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For a little over a year now, OP’s sister has been dating Mark. OP was a little surprised as he wasn’t her type. But OP associated it with her possibly maturing a bit. 

“He has a regular job at a bank, unlike all the musicians and entrepreneurs she usually hangs out with. He was great with my nephews and seemed devoted to her. My family liked him, and our friends liked him. Everything seemed great.”, says OP. 


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Last month, OP’s sister’s on-again-off-again romantic interest rolled back into town. Let’s call him Jim. Whenever he’s in town, everyone in the family is inundated with babysitting requests; OP’s sister either quits or takes time off whatever job she happens to have, and if she’s seeing anyone, she drops him for this guy. 

This time, she asked OP to babysit. OP didn’t know at the time it was for Jim, so she agreed. 


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When OP’s sister showed up at OP’s house, she immediately knew she was meeting Jim. OP’s sister always wears her hair down and puts on the shortest dress she can find because that’s how Jim likes it. When OP confronted her about it, she denied it, said, “Look, I have to go,” and ran out. OP tried calling her, but her phone was off.


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After half an hour of trying, OP called Mark.

“I don’t know what I was thinking at the time. It was either anger at my sister for messing up her life again, not learning her lesson or what it was, but I told Mark everything.”, says OP. 

Mark thanked OP and hung up. OP learned later that he showed up at her place, caught her, walked out without saying a word, and completely ghosted her. 


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OP’s sister asked OP if she had told Mark, and OP confirmed she had.

“Well, ever since, she’s been alternating between calling me horrible names, telling me I messed up her life and her kids’ life, and begging me to get in touch with Mark. 

What came as a shock to me was that my parents and our mutual friends also seemed to think I shouldn’t have told Mark and messed up a good thing for my sister. Was it worth doing that to my nephews? I’ve been grappling with it ever since. Am I the jerk?” asks OP. 


Image Credits: Antonio Guillem, Shutterstock

“Not the jerk. You gave Mark a heads-up on what was likely going on. Warning someone he was being cheated on is not a jerk move, especially when it was true he was being cheated on. Your sister did this to herself.” 


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“Mark deserves better than your sister. It is a harsh reality and truly the consequences of her actions. Thank you for respecting Mark and his value as a human being.” 


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“Not the jerk. Your mutuals and family have trashy interests. Maybe you should fully reevaluate your close relationships and figure out how quickly they’ll lie to your face about infidelity.” 


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“Not the jerk. Usually, I think exposing cheaters for fun is a wrong move. But you’re close with both parties, and you informed Mark out of respect. You saved him a lot of pain and drama down the line.


Image Credits: Roman Samborskyi, Shutterstock

“Not the jerk. Don’t involve others in your cheating schemes if you don’t want to get caught. You did the right thing, and apparently, your family & friends are awful. Sorry.” 

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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.

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