What can a mother do in case her son impregnates a young lady who doesn’t accept any help with hospital and paternity tests. This is a tricky situation to be in!
A user asked the forum, “Am I a jerk to “insinuate” that this young lady was lying”. Read the complete story to know who is wrong here.
The Original Poster (OP) (50F) has a son (23M) who is expecting a child with a young lady (18F).
The issue is that OP’s son does not know the young lady very well and doesn’t have much interest in speaking to her at the moment. They have a paternity test scheduled pretty soon so they can know before the baby is born.
WHAT WAS OP’S OPINION?
Although OP’s son is not interested in speaking to her, OP is sure her son will make a great father as he will warm up to reality as time goes by. OP says that she met this young lady only a few weeks ago; she is three months along.
WHAT DID THAT YOUNG LADY DO?
The young lady has had no interest in getting prenatal care, so OP scheduled an appointment for her. OP also offered the young lady a ride, but she made an excuse as to why she couldn’t go.
WHAT DID OP INSIST ON?
OP then called the lady the previous day, and she said she was having pain, so OP insisted she go to the hospital. But the lady didn’t want to go and said it was no longer bothering her, and she didn’t want to go without OP’s son.
However, OP was already on the way, and when he reached, the young lady didn’t come outside, so she left feeling very upset.
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Today, the young lady sent her a sonogram video, and OP said to her, “Congrats! Had you texted that you were going to a doctor or whatever you have going on, someone would not have minded being there for you! It’s questionable how you are showing this today when we were only trying to help you yesterday to ensure you and the baby were okay.”
HOW DID THE YOUNG LADY FEEL?
The lady felt disrespected and took it that OP was saying she was lying about being pregnant.
However, OP doesn’t care how the lady takes it because she didn’t call her a liar but can’t say if she is actually lying.
WHAT DID OP FEEL?
OP now asks if she is a jerk for the way she approached the lady? She feels her message was quite polite, didn’t see how she insisted she was lying, and feels she just took it the wrong way.
YOU CAN’T GET AN APPOINTMENT THAT FAST
“Not a jerk. I honestly would have doubts that what she sent was her sonogram. Just one day after refusing any prenatal care? Come on. You can’t get an appointment that fast, but you can download something from the internet quickly.
That doesn’t mean she’s not pregnant (though she’s the one who brought up that possibility); it just means she doesn’t want any pressure to see a doctor.”
YOU SHOULD WORRY ABOUT RAISING YOUR SON
“You are a jerk – your son got a girl pregnant, and you give the girl a difficult time about it? How about you worry about raising your son better because, from what you wrote, he has no interest in taking responsibility for what he did.”
SHE MIGHT BE EXTREMELY OVERWHELMED
“You are a jerk.
She’s just a kid herself and is probably feeling extremely overwhelmed right now. The last thing she needs is a stranger, in her case, about every single thing, being overly involved and overbearing. I know you mean well, but this is a lot for her. And if she’s lying about the pregnancy, that will come out eventually, so just…breathe and give her some space.
And maybe instead focus on your 23-year-old son impregnating 18-year-olds then ignoring the responsibility of being a parent.”
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