There’s always one person who loves nitpicking and creating problems when there are none! A netizen recently asked, “Am I a jerk for having my brother and SIL stay in our daughter’s room when they visit at Thanksgiving?”.
Read on to know what exactly happened!
BACKSTORY
The Original Poster (OP) (26f) and her husband (26m) recently bought a house. It’s an oversized 4-bedroom, 3-bath home with good-sized bedrooms. They have three kids, so each of their kids gets a room. Their daughter is 8, OP’s oldest son is 6, and her youngest is 4.
THE UPCOMING GUESTS
All the kids share the upstairs bathroom. OP and her husband have the master bedroom and bathroom. OP’s brother, his wife, and their 1-year-old son are visiting for Thanksgiving for two weeks.
THE PLANNING
OP and her husband told OP’s brother they would give them their daughter’s room as it’s the largest and has a queen-sized bed. Their daughter will sleep in one of their sons’ rooms.
“We planned on making it look nice in there for them. Giving them new sheets and bedding, ensuring all of my daughters’ things are put away, etc,” says OP.
SOMEONE’S NOT HAPPY
OP’s mother says that OP and her husband are being extremely rude and inconsiderate for not giving them their master bedroom and bathroom. She said it’s not right that they must share the upstairs bathroom with their kids while they’re here.
“I honestly did not think we were being inconsiderate at all.”, says OP.
OP’S BROTHER DIDN’T MIND
OP’s brother was delighted when she told him they could stay with OP’s family because they wouldn’t have to pay for a hotel/Airbnb.
“He didn’t seem like he minded that they would be in our daughter’s room. Am I a jerk?” asks OP.
A BIT MORE BACKGROUND
OP later edited the post and added the following information:
“My parents, brother, and his family live across the country. My sister, her husband, and my family live within 30 minutes of each other. We decided that we were having Thanksgiving here. So my sister is having my parents stay with her.
To put it nicely, my sister is a bootlicker and especially when it comes to my mom. So she offered my parents to stay in their master bedroom, and my sister and her husband would stay in their other bedroom.
That bit of information might be pertinent to this. My mom implies that my husband and I are not as accommodating as my sister.
IS OP’S DAUGHTER OKAY WITH THIS?
OP says, “My daughter and I talked, and she told me she is fine giving up her room for two weeks. She is so excited to see them, and she said it’s not a big deal to her.
My oldest son has a twin bed in his room, and my youngest has a bunk bed from when the boys were together in our old house.
I am giving my brother and sister-in-law our daughter’s room since it’s the largest and has a queen bed. I will have my two sons sleep together in the bunk bed and then put my daughter in the room with the twin bed. So she at least has her own space and privacy.”
Is OP a jerk?
YOUR ARRANGEMENTS ARE COMPLETELY REASONABLE
“Not the jerk. You have offered a completely reasonable room for them while you host for two weeks. If your mother feels so strongly about it, she can host them and give her bedroom to them. The people involved have no issues, but the person who isn’t impacted by this set-up has the most vocal opinion. She can shut up if it’s not her home or her arrangement.”
ASK YOUR MOTHER TO HOST THEM
“Not the jerk. You have no reason to give up the primary bedroom, especially since the guests are fine with their arrangement. If it bothers your mother, she can treat them to a hotel.”
BEDROOM IS VERY PRIVATE SPACE
“Not the jerk. The bedroom is a very private space. I don’t understand people even thinking someone should vacate their private room for visitors.
When I visit my friends or family for longer, I expect to sleep in the guest room, couch, or air mattress.”
MOM IS BEING ABSURD
“Not the jerk. Your mom is crazy. She can give up her master bedroom for your brother if she wants. She has zero say over your house. It sounds like the kids are looking forward to seeing their aunt and uncle! It will be a wonderful time for all (except when your mom tries to make up something to complain about, then ignore her).”
DON’T LISTEN TO THE NONSENSE
“Not the jerk. Your mom must shut up, as it is none of her business. What you have planned is supernormal. Don’t listen to the nonsense.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.