What do you do when someone lies to you and thinks everything will be okay? Well, watch this!
A netizen recently asked, “Am I a jerk for kicking my Mother-In-Law (MIL) out after she drove 16 hours to come see me and the new baby?”. What’s your take on the matter?
BACKSTORY
The Original Poster (OP) had a baby three weeks ago, and they just started allowing certain people to visit.
“My mom and sister (and her newborn) visited four days ago for the first time, and my MIL was due to arrive the next day to stay with us for a week,” says OP.
THE DAY MIL HAD TO ARRIVE
OP’s MIL lives 16 hours’ driving distance from them (in Canada, so she had to get a passport).
“She called us the day she was supposed to arrive and said she had to stop off and sleep and wouldn’t make it on the original estimated arrival time. No big deal. She shows up the next day at 10 am,” says OP.
THE ISSUE
The issue is that OP’s MIL brought her two granddaughters with her (my husband’s nieces – both 12).
“Not only was this never discussed (she didn’t even hint toward it), but one of the nieces in question is someone we no longer allow around our other children due to severe bullying, and my MIL is fully aware of it,” says OP.
THE NIECE IN QUESTION
Her (OP’s) family is in no contact with this girl’s mother because she defended her daughter after the girl punched their five-year-old son in the face last year at a family barbecue. After all, he wouldn’t give her the squirt gun (that was hers, but that’s beside the point, as per OP).
“So, we have no contact with this girl or her mom, and again, MIL knows this. The other niece is fine. I like the girl. But to further exceed jerk limits. I allowed the other niece to come inside and meet the baby, and I made MIL and the bully niece stay outside while she did so,” says OP.
HUSBAND’S TAKE
OP’s husband was 100% on OP’s side.
“He was actually livid and considered allowing the nice niece to stay for a week and just put her on a plane back home, but ultimately, her mom didn’t feel comfortable with unattended travel (I don’t blame her), so she ended up going back home when we told MIL to leave. We did not let MIL or the bully niece see the baby,” says OP.
THE NAME CALLING
She (OP) and her husband were called every name in the book by several family members.
“The Sister-In-Law (SIL) that we are in no contact with is soiling our name by saying we have wasted MIL’s time and are wrongly punishing her child. SIL says we need to ‘get over it.’
My Brother-In-Law (BIL) says we are ignorant because MIL purchased hers and her two granddaughters’ passports, so wasted money and time,” says OP.
WHAT DOES OP ASK?
“The other SIL (nice niece’s mom) is on our side as MIL lied to her and said she told us the girls were coming when she didn’t. Am I a jerk for letting the nice niece meet our baby but making MIL and the bully niece stay in the car and then kicking them off our property after she drove 16 hours?” asks OP.
IT’S ON HER
“Not the jerk. You didn’t waste MIL’s time or money. She did that on her own. She wouldn’t have had to spend time or money if she had talked to you about it. Hopefully, MIL got a crying child back for 16 hours.”
SHE LIED FOR A REASON
“Not the jerk. MIL lied for a reason, and she has to deal with the consequences. I wouldn’t allow a physically violent child near my newborn baby either, and MIL is a sneak and a liar, so I guess it’s awful to pay any attention to her.”
THAT’S INSANE
“I cannot imagine someone showing up for a week’s visit with two extra children without telling you first. Completely not the jerk here.”
SHE KNEW WHAT SHE WAS DOING
“Not the jerk. MIL would have mentioned it before leaving if it weren’t a big deal. She knew what she was doing and didn’t think you’d have the guts to call her on it. Good job.”
SHE NEEDS TO DEAL WITH IT
“Not the jerk. Your MIL behaved in a way no reasonable, decent person would. She created the situation and the consequences (so freaking proud of you for standing up for yourself and your family!), so she’s the one that has to deal with it. Well done!”
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This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.