Is it considered acceptable to limit your guests from having additional servings of food when you haven’t prepared an abundance of it?

An internet user asked, “Am I a jerk for not letting my nephew have another serving of food?”. Let us know your views on the matter. 


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Original Poster (27M) has three nephews over for the weekend. They’re cool kids, and OP loves having them over. However, one of them, “Erik” (14M) has a gigantic appetite. Like, literally every time OP sees this kid, he’s wolfing down food. 

OP says, “You wouldn’t think it because he’s super lank, but I guess he’s at that age where it’s normal, I’ve been there.” 

What Happened At Dinner Last Night?

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At dinner last night, they had a nice meatloaf and some mac and cheese. OP gave everyone big servings, and the other two kids were happy with it, but naturally, Erik wanted more.

OP told him he should probably just save room for dessert, and he did. But he still wanted to eat another serving of dinner after dessert. OP wanted to save some food for their dinner tomorrow, so OP told him he couldn’t have anymore. 

What Did OP’s Wife Do Next?

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But OP’s wife (26F) went over his head and told Erik he could have more if he wanted, and he went on to eat so much that he almost instantly fell asleep on the couch, where OP’s other nephews were playing video games.

The Bedtime Reality Check 

Couple fighting in front of child.
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It was overall a really good day, but OP was “miffed that his wife went over his head” over the food thing. And when they went to bed, OP told her he felt like what they’d served was reasonable.

She argued that since Erik is a guest, he can have as much food as he wants, and she can always buy more (she usually stocks the kitchen). 

She thinks OP is being a jerk for thinking he can control how much they do or don’t serve and that it’s weird he would have told Erik he can’t have another serving without at least checking with her first.

What Does OP Think?

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“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since. Was I being the jerk? I think I was in the right; why not save some dinner? Erik already had a lot of food as it is.”, says OP. 

Now OP wants to know if what he did was wrong.

The Kid Was Clearly Hungry 

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“You’re the jerk. He’s a 14-year-old growing kid who’s hungry. Let him eat. It’d be one thing if he just wanted sweets. He wanted more meatloaf, he’s clearly still hungry.” 

Why Didn’t You Plan Ahead For This?

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“Were you the jerk for refusing to feed your hungry nephew enough food? Yes. You don’t get to decide how much food is for another person. You knew him well enough to know how much he can eat, why didn’t you plan ahead for this?” 

It’s Normal For His Age!

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“Do you remember how much you ate at 14? Every 14-year-old boy I know is a seemingly bottomless pit when it comes to food – it’s normal. 

You don’t mention it, but does he play sports or have an active gym class at school? Not only is he growing, but he also probably moves around a lot more than you do, even just playing around with friends. You even said that he’s lanky. Could he have an extremely fast metabolism?

It sounds like there are no health concerns but you decided that your nephew should eat what you arbitrarily decided is the right amount for him.” 

What Exactly Were You Trying To Do?

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“Would you deny an adult dinner guest an extra serving of food?

What was the goal? Healthy portions or saving enough food for leftovers the next day?

The real jerk move here was…  ‘miffed that wife went over my head’….. Lol… if the lord & keeper of the food says no more then all must abide? Haha…your wife simply corrected your mistake. Thank her.” 

Think About It In Peace 

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“I wanna give you the benefit of the doubt, so I ask you to ask yourself why controlling his food is so important to you. If he was wasteful I might understand. A hungry kid ate enough to fill himself, why does that bother you? Maybe sit with yourself and see if you can figure out what the deeper issue is here. Good luck to you and yours.”

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