What would you do if you realized your biological father prioritized your step-sister over you?

An internet user asked, “Am I a jerk for refusing to let my step-sister come to a father-daughter trip I’m having with my dad? (and some other family members)”. 

Let us know what you think in the comments section!


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The Original Poster’s (OP’s) (15F) parents divorced when OP was 3, and her dad quickly remarried after that to OP’s stepmother. There are no kids between them, though OP’s step-mom, whom OP shall call ”Dora,” has a 16-year-old daughter (Sam) who quickly bonded with OP’s dad because her biological dad has never been in the picture.


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OP’s dad loves Sam and treats her as his own, but OP and Sam are not close and don’t like each other. 

“She also lives primarily with my dad while I spend Friday night to Monday morning at his house and around 3-5 weeks during school break”, says OP. 


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Now, OP’s paternal family is outdoorsy, and they like to do a bunch of things around that Sam is included in. OP and Sam ignore each other while enjoying their time with others. However, OP’s dad, grandad, aunt, and OP have a special treasure hunt they do around Christmas that’s special to OP.

“It’s like the only real time I have with my dad because, while Sam is not as jerky, she likes to demand both my grandad and dad’s attention, and since they consider me ‘tomboy-ish’ they kinda ignore me to coddle her which feels awful.”


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OP’s dad asked around her 10th birthday to invite Sam, and OP refused. 

“I’ve been saying no ever since, and while he doesn’t like it, he respects it, he does other stuff with her without me, and I don’t complain,” says OP. 


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However, this year, Sam is very adamant about going, and OP doesn’t want to. OP’s dad is pressuring OP to let her come as well, and Dora, OP’s aunt, and grandma insist he leaves this thing untouched between them, but OP’s dad doesn’t want to hurt ”his little girl’s feelings”. 


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“Not going to lie, that stung, so I said that if he wants her there, then he doesn’t have to pick me up for Christmas this year and just leave me be,” says OP. 


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She (OP) called her mom to pick her up, and OP’s dad tried to console OP and apologize because she was crying, but she asked him to leave her alone and went to the porch to wait. 


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Sam and Dora insist that OP is a jerk and she’s acting selfish. 

“But the way I see it, it’s not like that. This is the only real thing I have with my dad, and I have to do everything else with him and Sam, or else I get a nasty look. I get that dad loves her. I don’t care, but why do I have to share the only thing I have?” asks OP. 


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“Not the jerk. It is obvious that out of everything, this was the one special thing with your dad. Your stepmother should have been adult enough not to get involved, and your dad should have respected you and just wanted this one thing with him. 

Your step-sister should have been fully shut down on this instead of being an entitled child. Bad parenting by your dad destroying his relationship with you.” 


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“Not the jerk, and I’m disappointed that your dad doesn’t respect your feelings. It’s great that he’s close to Sam, but you already have limited time with him. You have every right to expect him to keep one thing for just the two of you.”


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“Not the jerk but this is beyond rude. So you’re his biological daughter, the youngest & yet he refers to her as his little girl? Have one last treasure hunt with him & slip in some passive-aggressive notes into the clues. End it with one that says you are done with your visits to him until he removes his head from somewhere & realizes how much he is hurting his daughter.” 


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“She’s trying to overstep you by being his daughter. It’s a power-play to see if she can get what she wants. You have a right to want alone time with your father, and they need to respect that.” 

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