For many parents, the decision of whether or not to liquidate their child’s college fund to keep their dream home is a difficult one.  A user asked, Am I wrong for liquidating my daughter’s college fund to keep our dream house?


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The Original Poster (OP) is a 50-year female. She lost her husband four years ago and has a daughter who is 16 years old.

OP says “My late husband left me everything and told me to trust his lawyer. My husband had worked for 20 years as a doctor and did some minor investing, so I inherited over seven figures.”

What Did OP Decide To Do?

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A year later, OP decided to list their home of 12 years and received an offer too good to refuse. With the inheritance as well as the influx of cash from selling the house, she decided to move to Malibu because she always dreamed of a home next to the beach, but her husband was exceptionally tight-fisted and called homes their money pits.

What Happened?

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They found a beautiful home by the sea. OP says, “I never personally handled anything regarding buying a home before, so I did not anticipate all the extra costs beyond the sticker price.

But my daughter was so excited, so I decided to go for it. My late husband’s lawyer was furious at my decision, so I decided to stop taking his calls. I ended up signing with a money manager who said that we’d be passively earning 90 percent of what surgeons earned per year.”

Money Manager Ended Up Taking A Lot Of Money

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The money manager ended up tanking a lot of their investments.

She took the dwindling money out and made her own investments which made it worse, and long story short, because of all that, she only has around $35k available to now., not to mention our debts.

What Did OP Decide To Do

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With the amount available to OP, she is looking at only being able to pay 1 month of a mortgage/ upkeep, and then she is basically out of luck until her business gets clients.

However, OP says the one place they have a significant amount of money is the fund OP’s husband started for our daughter. With the money there, she could prevent their credit cards from being shut down and not worry about the mortgage for many more months.

She Liquidated Her Daughter’s Fund

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So she ended up liquidating my daughter’s college fund. OP says, “I told her about it today, and she was furious and said she could not believe all her dad’s work was gone. She also said she wouldn’t be supporting me for retirement. 

OP is asking if she is wrong for trying to fix her mistakes and trying to keep their house?”

This is what others have to say:

You Ignored Your Lawyer

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“You’re a jerk. You decided not to listen to the lawyer, you decided to move to an extremely expensive place, and you decided to trust someone’s shady advice.

Now you’re taking away your daughter’s chances of being able to go to college loan-free. That money is not yours. You should be ashamed of yourself.”

Can’t Believe You’re Asking

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“So let me get this straight, your husband left you a 7 figure inheritance PLUS a house, and in 4 years, you managed to do the following:

  1. Sell your marital home and move to a Malibu beach house that you can’t afford to maintain against your late husband’s advice.
  2. Your late husband’s lawyer, whom he trusted also told you that’s a bad idea, and you didn’t like hearing that, so you started ignoring his calls.
  3. You cashed out what was remaining of your husband’s investments and gave your money to a random money manager you didn’t know who made too good to be valid claims (FYI, surgeons can make 300-500k per year; there is no way you are getting anywhere close to that with a $1M investment).
  4. Money manager tanks your investments, so you try to do it yourself and make it worse.
  5. To go even further, you empty your daughter’s college fund to continue living the lavish lifestyle you can’t afford.

YTA in the worst way possible. You’ve stolen from your daughter and potentially limited her prospects. There is a reason why your late husband said to trust his lawyer, as you obviously can’t handle that kind of money! There is a reason why many people who win the lottery end up going broke a few years later – they don’t manage their money and live way beyond their means.

Sell your house and move into something you can afford. Replenish your daughter’s college fund and try to repair your damaged relationship with her.”

You Disregarded Your Husband’s Wishes

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“You are wrong – You have at every turn disregarded your husbands wishes. And instead of knowing when to quit, you kept digging yourself deeper.

Time to make a grown-up decision and sell your house, get money back to the original attorney, and refund your daughter’s education fund. This way, you are covered until you get your business up and going. You have set yourself up not to have any money left for your retirement.”

You Made Poor Choices

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You made an extremely poor financial decision and disregarded those around you offering more sound financial advice. Having a home near the beach doesn’t mean you need to move to Malibu, but I digress.

You are the jerk here. You robbed your daughter of a chance to start her life off comfortably and took money never intended for you.

Sell this god-forsaken money pit of a home, get somewhere you can afford, and take a class in personal finance management”.

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This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.

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