Trust is the cornerstone of any relationship, and a single lie can shatter it to pieces. An internet user asked, “Am I a jerk for not believing my husband stayed in while sick?”. Here’s the full story for your context.
Original Poster, OP, her husband, and their toddler were going camping when he got terrible diarrhea and couldn’t come.
While OP was gone, her mom (who lives at their house) checked in on him and saw that he wasn;t home. She texted OP thinking he came on the trip. He didn’t, so OP asked him if he went out.
Did OP’s Husband Lie To Her?
OP’s husband told OP he was sleeping, and that’s why her mom missed him. OP asked where he was sleeping because she said she looked all over, and then he stopped responding to OP’s texts.
“I guess my mom asked him about it because he told her he was sleeping in the guest room. But when I got home the guest room had no blankets, and the stuff that was on it when I left was untouched (scarf, wood stick on pillow).”, says OP.
What Happened When OP Got Home?
So, OP asked him about it again when she got home and he was annoyed. OP thought he’d not go out when he had horrible diarrhea.
OP’s husband stormed away and then took the car to get it washed. When he got home, he was no longer fuming but went to his office to play video games until dinner. OP put their kid to bed.
Then, he wouldn’t talk to OP for the rest of the night, hiding in the office to play video games more.
OP’s Question To Us
“So, am I a jerk for not believing my husband, should I trust him despite the information I was given/saw for myself?
He’s a great guy and I’d trust him with my life but I feel like I’d be a fool not to at least question the circumstance.
If it were me I’d be hurt at not being trusted but I feel like I’d at least explain myself. Am I a jerk for wanting an explanation?”, asks OP.
This Is Extremely Shady
“Not the jerk. It’s shady. He might have just gone to the pub for a bit, lied thinking you’d be mad at him for not going camping, and keeps doubling down on it. Could be anything really.”
He’s Not Necessarily Cheating
“No jerks here. Everyone is pretty quick to jump to ‘He’s cheating!’
Maybe he was sleeping in the guest room and something happened so he later took the sheets off to wash. Now he’s embarrassed to share that with you.
Or, didn’t wanna go camping, lied, and now realizes that was not the right thing to do and is embarrassed.
Or, he hates your mom, hid from her, and doesn’t want to admit it.”
He Obviously Lied
“Not the jerk, because he obviously lied. Is the game he was playing Baldur’s Gate 3?
It just came out and is a huge deal to a lot of people, so I wouldn’t be at all surprised if he lied to get a weekend free to play, popped out to get gaming snacks/beers and is doubling down now he got caught.
If that’s the case, it’s probably something you’ll laugh together about someday if he comes clean, but not if he insists on lying about it.”
You CAN’T Ignore Things Like These
“Not the jerk. Couples should trust each other, but you can’t ignore obvious suspicious activity like this.
No way to know unless you confront him and be honest with your thoughts.”
Trust Your Gut
“Not the jerk. Lies are funny things. When you pick at them they unravel, and trust slowly begins to erode. Storming out to get the car washed sounds kind of contrived.
Trust your gut, if you think something is being hidden then follow your instinct.
His behavior does sound a little sketchy.”
Take A Step Back
“While this could be a possibility. Try to take a step back (as it seems you have) and think hard. Do you have any big days coming up, dates, a birthday etc. Do you think he could be planning some big gesture etc. consider all possibilities as well as cheating if you do consider it.
It’s not out of the realm, but it’s not the only option.
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This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.