Dressing appropriately for your fiancé’s parents shows respect and thoughtfulness and can help make a great first impression. But what happens if you choose to put in no effort?
A user asked, Am I wrong for wearing an Iron Maiden T-Shirt to my first meeting with my girlfriend’s parents?
The Original Poster (OP), who is 28 years old, has been in a relationship for a few months with his girlfriend (23 years old female). Things are well between them, and OP hopes everything works out for them.
She Invites Him For Dinner
Recently, OP’s girlfriend invited OP to her parent’s home for dinner. She lives with her parents, and they knew about OP. Since things were getting more serious, her parents wanted to meet OP.
Note: The girlfriend’s parents are Indian immigrants to the US, while OP is white.
What Happened Next?
OP thought dinner with his girlfriend’s parents was a casual meeting, so he wore an Iron Maiden T-shirt. Although he liked the band, he didn’t wear the shirt precisely because of that.
What Does He Say
He says, “I thought it was a casual meeting and wore an Iron Maiden T-shirt. I like the band, but that’s not even why I wore it; that’s just how I dress, and that shirt was clean that day. I went and met her parents and thought we’d had a good meeting.”
What Did OP’s Girlfriend Feel?
OP’s girlfriend was unhappy with him after dinner with her parents. She believed that he could have worn a more excellent button-up shirt instead of a T-shirt and that the Iron Maiden T-shirt with skulls on it was, in her opinion, “obnoxious.”
OP’ Didn’t Think Much
OP didn’t give much thought to his attire for dinner with his girlfriend’s parents and dressed in his usual way. He felt that if his girlfriend had specific expectations, she would have communicated them to him beforehand. However, his girlfriend disagreed and thought that his choice of clothing was “obviously stupid and inappropriate” and that he should have known better.
What Does OP Ask
OP wondered if his girlfriend was being overly critical or if she was right. He asks if he is wrong in what he did?
You’re an Adult
“Because you’re an adult… meeting someone’s parents generally isn’t an overly casual thing unless they specify that their parents are casual as well. Surely you own a nicer shirt than an Iron Maiden tshirt, being an adult and all.”
You Shouldn’t Need This Advice
“At 28, you shouldn’t need advice on this. The message you sent was that you didn’t care what your GF’s parents think. Which by extension says you don’t care overly much about your GF. Please do some serious reflecting.”
Address Your Own Standards
“Try to put a bit more thought into your attire when meeting people for the first time. Especially a girlfriend’s parents. She didn’t need to communicate her standards. You need to address your standards. Don’t blame her for your lack of them. It’s all on you.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.