Picture this scenario: one day, you unexpectedly see your neighbors enjoying a poolside gathering in your backyard without any prior consent. How would you react in this situation?

An internet user asked, “Am I a jerk for not letting my neighbor and her kids swim in our pool?”. Let us know what you think in the comments section!


swimming pool and decking in garden of luxury home
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The Original Poster (OP) (29F) lives with her husband (30M) in a nice house in a smaller town. They have double incomes and no kids. Their house has a pool in the yard, it’s really nice since it does get quite hot during the summers.

Their neighbor (32F) is a single mom of three, her house doesn’t have a pool and it’s a lot smaller than theirs. Both OP and her husband babysit for her sometimes which is why OP knows this.

What Happened Yesterday Morning?

angry kid
Image Credits: Deposit Photos.

Yesterday morning, when OP’s husband had already left for work and she had started to work from home, she heard noises from her yard (their houses here aren’t right next to each other so it’s quite easy to tell that the noise is from your yard). 

When OP Went Outside To Check

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So, OP went to check and her neighbor and her kids were swimming in their pool. OP was confused since she had never come to their house uninvited. But OP went to talk to her and asked what was going on.

She explained that she had a day off from work so she wanted to do something nice with her kids so she decided to “borrow” OP’s pool since they don’t have much use for it since they are child-free. 

What Did OP Do Next?

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OP asked her nicely to leave since they had come uninvited and were there without OP and her husband’s permission. She thought OP was joking but when OP asked again, she got defensive and demanded that OP should give her valid reasoning why she and her kids can’t be there.

OP didn’t give her reasoning but she told her that she would call the police if she didn’t leave and told her not to show up uninvited again. She did leave but kept cursing at OP and even accused OP of classicism. 

Why Did It Hit OP Hard?

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OP thinks it’s important to mention that because they live in an area where the houses aren’t right next to each other, and you can’t see inside their house even for the furthest point of their yard.

So, OP and her husband tend to hang out just in underwear or sometimes naked. So, OP was shocked to find her there just using their pool so comfortably. 

The Final Fuss

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OP’s neighbor has been mad at her since and she has bad-mouthed her to others in the neighborhood. OP told her husband and her parents about this.

OP’s husband and her dad think what she did was reasonable but her mom told her that she should have been more understanding to her since she works hard and is a single mom of three. 

“But I feel like she didn’t care about our privacy at all. So am I the jerk?”, asks OP. 

This Is YOUR Pool!

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“Not the jerk. First, this is YOUR pool and you get to decide who can use it, much like you can decide who can just walk into your house.

Second,  there are liability issues if anyone gets hurt or worse. Third, when people start demanding your things, they have lost the moral high ground.

This neighbor and her kids will just have to find another place to swim until she sincerely apologizes and agrees to abide by your terms.” 

Get A Fence ASAP!

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“Not the jerk. It’s your pool and your property. 

But, for liability reasons,  get a fence with a locked gate up as soon as possible. If one of them gets hurt on your property, they will sue you.” 

Her Audacity Is Mind Boggling!

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“It takes a lot of nerve to walk over to your neighbor’s house and just go in their pool!  At least have the decency to knock on the door and ask or better yet call you up and ask. Your yard is not a public pool.

You don’t owe a reason, she was rude and entitled and ballsy. Just because you watch her kids and don’t have kids yourself doesn’t make your pool open for all to use. 

Do you have a fence around it? If so, maybe invest in a lock. In my country, you have to have a fence with a pool to avoid this situation where someone can drown, especially children.” 

Next Time, Just Call The Police!

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“The ENTITLEMENT of your neighbor!!!

Doesn’t matter if you have kids or not: it’s YOUR pool, in YOUR backyard. You decide who can go in. End of story.

And for your neighbor to just jump in, it’s trespassing. And can make you liable if there was any incident. If it happens again, call the police straight away.” 

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