Imagine being free to choose your dress as a bridesmaid at someone else’s wedding and then picking something that’d make you the center of attention.
An internet user asked, “Am I a jerk for asking my little sister to cover her chest at my wedding?”. Here’s the whole story for your context.
BACKSTORY
Original Poster (OP) is getting married in a couple of months and is selecting bridesmaid dresses for the bridal party.
“I’ve kept my dress elegant, there’s no revealing neckline, and let’s just say my sister is incredibly blessed with her bust size,” says OP.
IS OP A PRUDE?
OP is not a prude; she celebrates women’s bodies, but a revealing neckline was not what she had in mind for any of her bridal parties.
“I have a color scheme in mind and told my bridal party they could choose whatever style they’d like out of the color (within reason, of course),” says OP.
SISTER’S REVEALING DRESS
Everyone has chosen something OP is happy with, but while OP’s sister has chosen something pretty, the revealing neckline doesn’t leave much to the imagination.
OP BROUGHT IT UP
She (OP) tried to put it as delicately as possible, but her sister did not handle this well. She loves this dress and accuses OP of ‘body shaming’ and ‘picking on her’ because it’s ‘not her fault she has a big chest.’ Currently, she’s not talking to OP as she thinks OP is singling her out.
OP TRIED TO EXPLAIN HER CONCERNS
OP tried explaining to her sister that she wants to keep her wedding relatively modest and classy, and she feels like having her sister’s revealing neckline against everyone else’s modest dresses would stick out the way/ be the center of attention way too much.
IS OP THE JERK?
“I’ve tried offering to find an alternative, but like I said, she’s been ignoring me and my texts. If it weren’t for my wedding, I couldn’t care less what she wears. Am I a jerk here?” asks OP.
SOME MORE CONTEXT
OP later edited the post and added the following information:
“She’s also only just turned 18, and the big sister in me doesn’t want anyone to stare at her and have that in the back of my mind on the day. I also fear she might have a dress malfunction in it.”
IT WOULD HELP IF YOU HAD BEEN MORE SPECIFIC
“Well, your first mistake was saying they could choose a dress. If you wanted full coverage, you should have chosen a selection of dresses and had them pick which one they liked.”
IT’S YOUR WEDDING
“Your wedding, your rules, that’s how it works. My wife picked out all the bridesmaid dresses and approved any other dresses worn in the ceremony (mothers, grandmothers, kids, etc.).”
NOT THE JERK
“You wanting no revealing neckline is a simple ask. Not the jerk. Sister needs to grow up, realize it isn’t her day, and cover herself up. It’s not the end of the world. Her bust would be noticeable and stand out in the photos. It sounds like she’s mad she can’t dress as provocatively as she likes.”
KICK HER OUT OF THE PARTY
“Someone else’s wedding isn’t the place to ‘be revealing.’ I’d tell my sister if she can’t respect my wishes, she can’t be at the party. You don’t owe her anything just because she’s your sister. She sounds disrespectful and inconsiderate if this has triggered her to ignore you. I’d say kick her out of the party!”
YOU GET THE FINAL SAY
“Not the jerk. It’s your wedding at the end of the day. People are acting as if because you gave them the freedom to choose a dress, you gave up having any say over the bridesmaid dresses, and that’s not how it works.
There are hundreds of thousands of dresses out there. She’s 18 and immature, but ultimately, you get the final say on what people in your wedding party wear.”
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