Travelers often make plans, but life can sometimes get in the way. A user took to the forum and asked, “Am I wrong for not guaranteeing I can get up to go to Greece?”
OP’s partner was offered an opportunity to do business in Greece. He was given the option of receiving a large bonus or having his partner’s expenses paid for, and he chose OP as they had never traveled abroad together before.
What Did OP Discover
OP discovered (with the trip only two weeks away) that she must leave the house by 8:15 am to catch the flight. OP takes medication each morning, which induces alertness after around 30 minutes, but also causes drowsiness at night and difficulty waking up the next day after a deep sleep.
Attempts Were made
Although dependent on the medication, attempts were made to reduce or stop taking it, but this resulted in extreme tiredness and other side effects, which made OP miserable and unable to function correctly.
What Did OP Do
OP conveyed that she hopes to go on the trip but cannot guarantee it. OP wanted to avoid causing panic by informing her partner in advance that there was a possibility of being unable to wake up on time.
OP Often Struggles
Due to exhaustion, OP often struggles to gather enough energy to take her medication but becomes alert within half an hour of taking it. OP promised to make an effort and do what she could, but she also clarified that she might be unable to keep up with the schedule.
What Happened Next?
OP’s partner became very upset and inquired whether he should cancel the ticket, and OP replied that it was his decision but expressed her desire to go on the trip if possible.
He Is Disappointed
However, despite not wanting to cancel the ticket, OP’s partner have feelings of disappointment and a perception of unreliability towards OP. This hurt OP deeply, as she had been supportive during their partner’s challenging times, and her partner had previously expressed gratitude for this support.
What Did OP’s Partner Say
OP’s partner said that he had gone from looking forward to a romantic trip to seeing it as a sign of how little OP cares about him. OP’s time management is generally awful, but he has no idea how painfully tired OP is when she wakes up – OP works from home and tries never to make commitments before 11 am.
What Does OP Say
OP was okay with him canceling, and he wanted OP to ‘just do it.’ OP said she would try as hard as possible but may not be able to go. He doesn’t want to break up or even take someone else.
They are planning to get married. ADHD medication helps her function much better than before, and she take it when she wakes up, so she can’t take it earlier. OP sleeps when she crashes, so she can’t just sleep earlier. OP didn’t know the flight time, but he said it wasn’t early. OP does want to go, and she does love him very much, and he loves her too.
OP does want a romantic getaway with him, she doesn’t want to lie and be a sudden letdown, and although OP can try very hard, she can’t be sure she will make the plane.
OP asks, “Am I wrong?”
“If she’s going on a trip with this man, why can’t she pack the day before and then sleep at his place?? Seemingly they’re adults?? He can wake her up, shove her meds in her mouth, and they can go to the airport together. I have similar issues to her and sometimes do that with my bf when we have important early morning stuff.”
You Don’t Want A Solution
“Someone offered this as a solution and op was like “it makes no difference” and has shot down every solution people have come up with”
You Didn’t Even Try
“I think people would have been more sympathetic if she was willing to sit down with bf and put a significant plan in place over the next two weeks. For example, setting alarms across the house at five minute intervals, since she says that she sets them half an hour apart and falls back to sleep in between or doing puzzle alarms and visiting the doctor to see if another medication might help for the one day.
If he saw her making an effort to try and be ready and still failing despite trying, I doubt he would be as frustrated. The whole “I just can’t promise anything” got thin after a while. I don’t think he was asking for absolutes.”
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This article originally appeared on Mrs Daaku Studio.