It is hard to stay around pessimistic people as they constantly complain about their life and their hardships.
A user asked the forum, “Am I a jerk for telling my wife that I agree with her coworkers?”. Read the entire story to know more.
BACK STORY
The original poster ( OP ) (30M) and his wife “Lexi” (28F), have been together for five years.
They have always had a pretty solid relationship. They do have their issues, just like any other couple, but they always work through them in the end.
WHAT’S THE ISSUE?
He says that one reoccurring issue that has been causing some drama lately is Lexi’s coworkers.
About six months ago, Lexi got a new job at a local supermarket. Roughly three months into it, she started complaining about how her coworkers didn’t like her and that she couldn’t stand them.
She kept going on and on about how annoying they are and that her coworkers claim the reason why they don’t like her is because she’s a “constant downer.”
HOW DID OP FEEL?
OP wouldn’t say anything during these discussions, but he would find himself secretly agreeing with Lexi’s coworkers.
He says that he loves Lexi, but one trait that has always been an issue is her pessimism.
Lexi has a bad habit of thinking negatively, assuming the worst in other people, and generally has a defeated attitude. A “Debby Downer.”
WHAT DID OP DECIDE TO DO ABOUT THIS ISSUE?
He says that after months of her going on and on about how awful her coworkers were, he decided to take a look for himself.
A couple of days ago, he had the day off, so he went to Lexi’s place of work and observed her interacting with her coworkers.
Lexi knew that he would be there and insisted that she would prove to me that she was being “unfairly targeted.”
WHAT DID HIS WIFE DO?
OP says that during several interactions, Lexi would endlessly complain about having to be at work, she would say nasty things about customers, etc.
He also added that she also had very bad body language. She would roll her eyes and obnoxiously sigh when customers left her registry. It wasn’t comfortable to watch.
He says that he was there for about 2 hrs when he decided to leave and go back home.
SHE CAME BACK HOME
After Lexi came home from work, she immediately started complaining about her coworkers and how “cold they were towards her for no reason.”
She says that she felt vindicated and said: “So, do you believe me now? Now do you understand why I am upset all the time? Maybe now you can understand how I feel.”
WHAT DID OP SAY?
OP explained to her that, based on what he observed and he told her that he actually agreed with her coworkers.
WHAT IS HER REACTION?
He says that Lexi exploded on him! She yelled that he was just like everyone else and a “slimy weasel” for siding with her coworkers.
She stormed out of his house and is currently staying with her Mom.
He says that he is trying his best to understand where she’s coming from, but he doesn’t know what else he can do.
OP asks if he is a jerk.
YOU ARE RIGHT
“Not a jerk. You did the right thing. She’ll either take it to heart and start taking steps to change, or your marriage will gradually deteriorate, and you’ll move on with your life and hopefully find someone with a better disposition.”
IT IS TIME FOR SELF-REFLECTION
“Not a jerk. I think it’s time for her to self-reflect because everyone around her is pointing out the same mistake to her.”
SHE ASKED FOR YOUR OPINION
“Not a jerk. – she wanted you to show up and give your opinion. She seems pretty unhappy and needs to work on the way she views the world. I used to be negative like this, too – listening to Jim Rohn and Tony Robins helped me out a lot. Maybe show her some of their lectures if she’s open to it.”
SHE WANTS TO CONFRONT HER FLAWS
“You are a jerk. Sometimes you have to tell your partners the truth and have them confront their flaws. She didn’t marry a yes man who would coddle her.
She needs to take a good hard look at herself and work on things; maybe therapy.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.