Getting bullied in high school is really tough and can leave marks that last a long time. People who go through it often have those scars even when they’re grown up. In a recent situation online, someone who was bullied had a question for me.
A netizen recently asked, Am I a jerk for exposing my future sister-in-law for bullying me in high school at a family event? We need your opinion on the matter.
Backstory
In high school, OP used to be friends with this girl, Annika.
They were close until junior year when OP discovered she had been spreading false rumors about them. However, even after they stopped being friends with her, she continued to make up lies about them and made their life hell right up until they graduated. They all went to different universities and OP is in their mid-twenties now.
Annika’s Entry Into OP’s Life. AGAIN.
OP’s older brother Carter went to the same university as Annika. Recently, he announced that he had gotten engaged to his girlfriend. OP’s family was happy for him, but they were surprised at the same time since they didn’t know he was dating anyone. He said he’d introduce her at an upcoming family party.
Next, the party rolled around and guess who walked in the door with Carter? Annika.
OP says, “I honestly thought I was hallucinating, and I felt sick seeing her again. Carter left Annika with some relatives, then came over to me and asked to talk.”
Carter’s Justification
They went to another room and Carter explained he’d met Annika at a party and didn’t recognize her, but it was “love at first sight.” But after he found out her full name, he realized it was the same Annika who spread lies about OP.
He confronted her and she claimed to not remember OP or anything she did. He let it go because he really liked her. He then pleaded with OP to be nice to her since she “didn’t remember” what she had done and that she was a good person. OP just told him they needed a moment to themselves to process everything.
When OP eventually went back to the party, they decided they would ignore her. OP didn’t say anything rude, but just didn’t talk to her or acknowledge her. She didn’t talk to OP or acknowledge them either.
The One Where All Hell Broke Loose
But when they sat down to eat, all hell broke loose.
One of OP’s aunts asked OP how they felt about their brother getting married. OP tried changing the subject, but she kept pressing, so they eventually snapped and said something like: “I actually don’t feel great about it considering his future wife bullied me and never apologized.”
Everyone turned to look at Annika. She just started crying and ran out of the room. Carter went after her, and they left early. The rest of the night was chaotic because everyone was asking OP what happened (OP told them).
What Did Carter Say To OP?
Later, Carter called OP and said she was a horrible person for embarrassing Annika in front of the whole family and OP was being petty over “high school drama.”
He demanded OP apologize to her. OP refused and said HE was the awful one for blindsiding them with this, and that if she never bothered to reach out and apologize for what she did while they were dating, OP wasn’t going to let it go now that they were engaged.
He kept insisting that she didn’t remember, and she can’t apologize for something she doesn’t remember, but OP thinks that’s crazy. OP ended up hanging up on him.
What Does OP Say?
OP says, “The way I see it, I was asked a direct question and I provided a direct answer. Also, I don’t think I have any obligation to cover for her when she made my life hell, especially when she’s obviously lying about not remembering. Am I a jerk?”
Her Story Is Not Believable
“I don’t buy that she doesn’t remember. Plus your brother did chose to ambush you at the family event.” Said one.
“Annika avoided OP the whole time, and she ran from the room crying when her past deeds were revealed. She 100% definitely remembers.”
“I’m sorry that brother doesn’t have your back. Annika hasn’t done a single thing to make the situation better, and that seems cowardly.” Another added.
She Remembers! THAT’S IT
“She remembers. She remembers, or else she wouldn’t have started crying and running out of the room. She would have been confused and asked what you were talking about.
Ask your brother if this is really who he wants to marry. Someone who would lie to him. Unless she had a traumatic brain injury, she remembers you. You are not a jerk. Don’t let her get away with that stupidity.”
Your Brother Is The Jerk, Not You
“The biggest jerk here is your brother. He knew who she was and chose to blindside you rather than letting you know beforehand so that the three of you would have a chance to hash things out before he brought her to the party. He got exactly what he deserved.
And what kind of stupidity is that excuse of hers…she doesn’t remember what went down between the two of you in high school? It was only a few years ago. I even believe she thought this would be a great new dig at you by showing up at this party on your brother’s arm with an engagement ring on her finger. I wonder if she even loves him at all.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.