Parents are obviously expected to side with their children when they’re stuck somewhere or being ridiculed for doing something they didn’t. But what if you think it’s well-deserved and merely happens to be the consequence of their own actions?
A netizen recently asked, “Am I a jerk for agreeing with the school when they dress-coded my daughter and not fighting it?”. Here’s the full story for you to conclude.
Backstory
This is about the Original Poster’s (OP’s) youngest daughter.
“I would like to start off by saying the dress code at my daughter’s school is very reasonable.”, says OP.
The rule is to wear no-see undergarments and this affects the guys more than the girls (the pants not being held up boxers are a seen thing). OP has three kids and the older two have never been dress-coded.
OP’s Daughter Got Dress-Coded
Now, OP’s daughter has come home and she has been in her gym clothes since she got dress-coded. It came with a school email and a picture of the shirt.
What Was She Wearing?
They took the picture after my daughter changed and it was a swim-top cover-up. It’s sheer. This makes complete sense to me why she was dress-coded, she got a warning, and that was that.
The Drama Ahead
Now my daughter and oldest daughter are annoyed that I didn’t stick up for her.
“My sister is now on my nerves since the kids told her and they all think I am a jerk. So, I need outside opinions on this.”, says OP.
You’re Just Being A Parent
“Not the jerk. I don’t see anything to fight here. The rules aren’t unreasonable, your daughter wasn’t wrongly accused of breaking them, and the punishment isn’t going to have any long-term consequences on her education or well-being.
You’re not being a jerk, you’re being a parent.”
Sheer Clothes Ain’t Appropriate For School
“Sheer clothes aren’t acceptable at school. Whilst as a parent, you have to have your kids back, that sometimes means telling them why they are wrong.
Blindly going along with their choices will lead to them having a very hard time in adult life and managing relationships. Your sister really isn’t helping either. Does she have kids?”
Wrong Is Wrong
“Not the jerk. Wrong is wrong. To blindly stick up for her when she is wrong teaches a bad lesson. I can go out in the world, flaunt the rules and my family will back me. This is precisely why we are losing educators left and right.”
You Did The Right Thing!
“Not the jerk! Too many parents are quick to defend their kids, no matter what. As humans, we have to learn that there are sometimes rules that we don’t agree with but have to follow. In my opinion, backing the school in this situation makes you a good parent.”
Good For You!
“I applaud you for not standing up for her. It’s now the norm to read online articles about parents backing up kids who have dress code violations at school. They are teaching them that rules don’t apply to them. That’s not a good thing. Good for you!”
It’s Definitely A Dress Code Violation
“Not the jerk. Sheer top? It’s definitely a dress code violation. She knows it was wrong.
Everybody else needs to agree and support you here. Let them know their opinion doesn’t matter and the situation has been handled correctly.”
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