Despite your best efforts to rekindle the romance in your relationship, your partner’s distrustful accusations make you feel like you’re walking on eggshells.
An internet user recently shared an incident where his wife found out about his spontaneous prompts, which didn’t go well with her. Read on to know what happened next.
The Original Poster’s (OP) wife found out about his spontaneity prompts.
So about 3-4 years ago, OP and his wife had a vast, near-relationship-ending fight. It was mostly about how she feels he doesn’t care about her. He gets busy during the day and forgets to text her for hours at a time, and when he does, it’s the usual “how’s your day going” stuff.
What Did OP Do To Fix The Matter?
So to fix this, OP made a list of 31 prompts or activities in his notes ranging from a simple “I love you and can’t wait to see you” to getting flowers or planning a picnic at the park to surprise his wife.
He Had Set A Reminder
He had set a reminder in his phone to go off every two days, and he uses the prompt that matches the day of the month so it feels random and not like he’s repeating the same stuff. If he thinks of something new, he’d add it to the sub list and swap them around every few months.
What Does OP Say
OP says, “This has worked out pretty well. It’s not that I don’t mean these things, but I need a reminder to pull me out of work mode for a few minutes to check in on her without having to resort to the same boring and generic texts.”
What Happened This Weekend?
Fast forward to this weekend, OP was doing some car maintenance, and he also had important information about the cars and a maintenance log in his notes as well, and while he was under the car, he asked his wife to look at the notes and check the torque spec for a drain bolt.
She Sees A Note
Naturally, she sees a note called “spontaneity prompts” and gets curious, so she opens that and sees a laundry list of romanticisms. She puts it together, probably recognizing some of the things OP had said to her that he had been using this to talk to her during the day.
OP’s wife asks about it and he says he references it from time to time when he wants to do something nice/random to surprise her or when he feels like saying something non-generic over text.
OP Shouldn’t Need A List
She says OP shouldn’t need a list of things to talk to her about and suspects he just pulled a list of ideas off the internet, even though he made this list on his own. OP wants to know if he is a jerk
Sounds Like A Good Tool For People With ADHD
“Honestly, this sounds like a good tool for someone with ADHD. The real gesture is putting a system in place to make sure your wife feels appreciated and cared for not the random things themselves. Maybe reiterate to her that you need these tools to shake you out of work mode and into appreciation mode.”
That’s SO DAMN Thoughtful Of You!
“I would actually be really impressed if my husband did this. It’s thoughtful in its own right. It shows you care and are making an effort.” Said one.
“Yeah, this is so sweet actually! For once we see a partner here who actually listens and DOES something to meet the needs of his gf/ wife.” Another added.
Your Intent Looks Pure
“I hope she comes around. I think that the intent behind what you did is very sweet, and hopefully, she’ll see that in time. Nothing wrong with reminders like this at all, IMO.”
“I think you should explain your intent with her and maybe discuss love languages and how you were doing your best to love her the way she wants to be loved.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.