A user asked, Am I wrong for refusing to punish my son? and we want to hear from you.
The Original Poster (OP) Married A Philiphines Woman
For the past fourteen years, OP has been happily married to a woman from the Philippines, with whom he has two children.
What Did OP’s Family Do?
Ever since they got married, OP’s sister Juliet and her husband Mike have been calling OP’s wife a “mail-order bride,” “slave,” or “concubine.”
For this reason, OP keeps no contact with Juliet and Mike, seeing them at family events but trying to avoid interacting with them.
What Happened At The Wedding?
OP’s younger sister got married last week, and during the ceremony, the groom, Robert, was joking with Mike and Juliet about how OP was a “slaveholder” and all that idiocy.
OP talked to Robert later, and he admitted that he was going along with it, not just passively listening to what Juliet and Mike were saying.
OP’s Son Heard It
OP’s 11-year-old son overheard it and, as you can imagine, wasn’t happy to hear his father accused of enslaving his mother. So he took the figurines off the wedding cake and threw them in the toilet.
He did this in front of everybody and flipped off the bride and groom.
What Everyone Wants OP To Do?
Now everyone’s asking OP how he is going to punish his son. He told them he didn’t intend to punish him at all.
What Does OP say?
Yeah, he could have handled it better, and OP advised him that he should ask to leave next time. But OP is not going to punish him.
When adults invite a child to their wedding, insult said child, and are too stupid to ensure the child isn’t in earshot; they shouldn’t be surprised when said child behaves childishly in response to the insult.
OP says, “I figure that since he’s only eleven, I’ll let him get away with it this time; if he’s still doing stuff like this at seventeen, there will be major consequences.”
What Do You Think?
Was it right for OP not to punish his son? Was it inappropriate for the family to make such comments? Here is what Redditors say:
Give Him A Pizza
“I think OP needs to buy that pizza and say this to his son “The world will not always appreciate it when you stand up for yourself and your family, but I will always support you when you do that.”
OP Is Wrong
“No, you are wrong for not punishing him, but certainly a jerk for not shutting that down when it started gaining traction- this has been going on for more than 11 years based on the son’s age.
It’s not a joke when it hurts people, and I imagine the wife never found it funny, and now the son indeed doesn’t find it funny, and he will tell his siblings, and they won’t find it funny.
Have A Conversation With Him
“No, you are wrong. I wouldn’t punish him for this specific incident but have a conversation about how words are powerful – openly calling them out for being racist before loudly leaving would have been acceptable also.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.