A user asked the forum, am I a jerk for calling the police on my fiance?

BACK STORY 

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The previous night the Original Poster’s (OP’s) fiance left in the evening to give a friend’s son a ride back to his home. OP addresses that she implied she’d be home before 9 pm. 

He says that she left at around 7:45.

SHE DIDN’T COME HOME 

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He says it was already 10.15 and she still wasn’t home. He texted, and she apologized saying that her friend’s son was actually in the next town, maybe 30 minutes away, and she was coming home now.

NO RESPONSE TO CALLS AND TEXTS 

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Soon it was 11:45 and she still hadn’t come back home. So he called her but got no answer. Texted her, no response again. He was getting very upset.

Again, 12.30 rolled around, and still no response or answer to his phone calls. And he was extremely angry.

1:30 rolled around, and his anger had completely transformed into worry. Still not answering his calls, and texts are not read.

HE CALLED THE POLICE 

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It was around 1:45 that he called the police. 

He says that he has always heard that the first 24 hours of someone being missing is the most important, so he didn’t want to delay.

THEY SEND SOME COPS 

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He asked them to let him know if there had been any traffic accidents involving her car, and the operator told him that they would put out the word and send some cops to check along the route she would travel. 

HE CALLED ALL HOSPITALS 

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He also called all the hospitals in the area to check if she had been checked in, and he waited outside watching the road for her car for three hours, partially because he didn’t want the kids to hear him on the phone with hospitals, and secondly because he was sick with worry.

SHE CAME HOME 

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OP says that at 7:00 am, she came home. 

She apologized for being out and said she had no excuse. She was driving home and felt tired like she was falling asleep at the wheel, so she pulled over to the side of the road to sleep.

SHE SAID THAT SHE WAS RESPONSIBLE 

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 When she did that, she found that her brand-new phone had stopped working. She says she napped anyway because it was the responsible thing to do, and then came home at 7 am to bring the kids to school and get to work on time.

HE INFORMED THE POLICE 

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He immediately called the police and told them that she had come home safely, gave them the case number, and told them to stop searching, which the police did.

HE GOT A CALL FROM THE POLICE

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His fiance brought the kids to school and left for work. And he set out to start cleaning, and he got a call from a policeman asking where she worked.

He told him and asked why, and he was informed that it was their policy to check on the person’s wellness after a missing person was found. 

OP asked them not to go by her work but to give her a call instead. The police said he couldn’t promise. He says that his fiance is relatively new to her job. A police officer showed up and asked to speak with her.

SHE IS ANGRY 

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She is now enraged at OP for calling the police and sending a cop to her work and making her look bad. 

She said that OP overreacted and that she wasn’t missing, and that he was punishing her for doing the responsible thing and not driving while drowsy.

She is saying that she is never going to leave the house again except for work because she is afraid he is going to call the cops on her again.

OP asks if he overacted and if he should have waited two days, as his fiance suggests.

SHE MUST BE LYING 

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 “Uh, no, her whole story is a big fat lie.

She told you she would be home by nine but somehow was wrong about where the kid lived. Did she not know the town beforehand? Did she just start driving 30 mins, and then the kid goes, “Oh no, wait, I live in XYZ, not XXX!” That part of the story doesn’t even make any sense.

So she ended up changing the time.

Then she “got tired” and pulled over and napped on the side of the road. You do realize that if police were looking for her on roads where she claimed she would be, and she was napping in her car on said road, they would have found her, right?

Then her NEW phone just happened to not be working? Despite the fact that that simply does not happen, and even if it wasn’t working PROPERLY, she still could have called 911

That’s not even mentioning the fact that I don’t know a single woman, myself included, who would pull over on the side of the road and sleep IN HER CAR WITH NO PHONE.”

SHE MUST BE PROBABLY CHEATING 

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“She’s cheating…that story is completely fabricated and dumb. Btw, she stayed out all night with someone.”

THREATENING 

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“Also threatening to “never leave the house again” because a cop showed up to work (anyone would be embarrassed), but that’s shifting blame.. and misdirecting who’s at fault because she is 100% lying… If it were an emergency, she’d explain to her colleagues what happened and how awful she feels about worrying her husband.”

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