Carelessly chosen words can alter the meaning of sentences and damage relationships permanently!

A netizen recently asked, “Am I a jerk for asking my coworker what would happen if I drank her breast milk?”. We need to hear your thoughts on the matter!

BACKSTORY

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The Original Poster’s (OP’s) (20F) coworker, Kate, had a baby a little while ago, and in the breakroom during lunch, she was talking about breastfeeding.

THE CONVERSATION

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During the conversation, OP asked Kate, “Hey, what would happen if I were to drink your breast milk?”

Kate said, “Excuse me?”

OP did realize that it sounded like a weird question when you didn’t hear the train of thought leading up to it, so OP tried to explain herself and said, “I mean, is it okay because your baby is related to you, but I’d get sick because I don’t have your same bacteria?”

LAUREN JOINED THE CHAT

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Kate didn’t answer OP, but their other coworker Lauren said, “Well, it can’t be that’s how it works because wet nurses wouldn’t have been a thing.”

MORE DISCUSSIONS 

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She (OP) had never heard of a wet nurse and asked Lauren, “What’s that?”

Lauren said, “It’s when you hire a nanny who had a baby at the same time as you so that she can also breastfeed your baby for you, but it’s like an old practice.”

KATE LEFT

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So, at this point, Kate said, “You guys are being jerks,” and left.

OP found out today that she’s telling people that OP and Lauren were making fun of her about breastfeeding.

IS OP A JERK?

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“So I understand why Kate would’ve been uncomfortable with the way I asked the first question because that was a stupid way to say it, but I don’t understand how she thinks I was making fun of her after that. Am I a jerk?” asks OP. 

APOLOGIZE RIGHT AWAY

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“You should probably apologize to Kate. Tell her you realize it was inappropriate to ask, and you’re not making fun of her. Try using Google next time. You’re the jerk.” 

YOU NEED A FILTER

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“That is such a weird and intrusive question. If you were so curious, maybe you could have googled something like ‘person not related to mother-child drinking breast milk’ rather than insert yourself and a coworker into a creepy hypothetical scenario. You need a filter.”

NOT EVERY THOUGHT SHOULD BE SHARED

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“Yes, whatever your motive, that will make someone uncomfortable. Not every thought process should be shared. You’re the jerk.” 

YOU COULD’VE DONE IT DIFFERENTLY

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“You’re the jerk for the way you started that conversation. You could have asked it more generically, not about her breast milk. Additionally, Google is a thing. Look it up the next time something like that pops into your head.” 

YOU WERE JUST CURIOUS

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“Not the jerk! You were just curious. Why would it put her off so much if you’re all friends? Just talk to her. I’m sure it’s not that deep and just an overreaction. Maybe she was already ticked off, or something hurt her. Just talk to her. I’m sure it will be alright.” 

IT’S SIMPLY CREEPY

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“Creepy. You say you understand how your question might’ve been stupid, but did you apologize then? Sometimes, we blurt out something dumb, and it happens. But then we have to apologize for that!”

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