Mutual respect is very important, especially when you are moving into a new family.
The Original Poster (OP) took it to the forum, and asked “Am I wrong for kicking the majority of my husband’s family out of our wedding when they celebrated their traditions but violated many of my personal rules and boundaries?”. We want to know from you.
OP and her husband Ben recently got married.
Ben has a very tight-knit family that doesn’t take well to outsiders. Most of his family reunions don’t even allow plus-ones or spouses.
Only immediate family members are allowed. Ben has three siblings, and none of their spouses are allowed in the family gatherings.
OP’S RELATIONSHIP WITH HER IN-LAWS
Even though OP can’t attend any family gatherings, she still maintains a good relationship with Ben’s family.
Although her in-laws have always been distant from her, she never had any major issues with them until their wedding.
WHEN WAS THE WEDDING PLANNED?
The wedding was planned for New Year’s Day. This date is special to both OP and Ben, because this was the day when they met for the first time, the day when Ben asked OP to be his girlfriend, and also the day Ben proposed to her.
BEN’S FAMILY TRADITIONS
Ben’s family has a lot of odd traditions that OP has put up with over the years.
During the wedding planning, OP got to know that Ben’s family traditions include – having a homemade sheet cake rather than a professional cake, wearing all white, and having all of the children walk up the aisle to toss flowers rather than having one designated flower girl/boy.
OP wanted their wedding day to be good for both of them, so they made some compromises.
Both of them concluded that they would have a homemade sheet cake, provided they would choose the flavor and design.
They wanted everyone to wear anything of their choice (besides white). Also, they decided that there would be no children at their wedding. Ben’s family agreed to these rules.
THE WEDDING DAY
Finally, the wedding day arrived, and OP’s family followed all the rules set by the bride and groom. As soon as the groom’s family entered, everyone else was mortified.
They were all wearing white, and there were a lot of children. Everyone except three, broke the rules. Their traditions were more important than what the couple wanted.
BEN’S FAMILY GOT KICKED OUT
OP and her husband immediately kicked out everyone who didn’t follow the rules. The three family members who followed the rules also left with their respective partners. The wedding went on as normal, but it definitely felt ruined.
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
They even had to cancel their post-wedding celebrations when some of Ben’s family members tried to sneak inside. After coming back from their honeymoon, they were both berated by Ben’s family and got ‘shunned’ by them. This made OP feel guilty for not allowing Ben’s family to practice their traditions.
Now OP wants to know from the forum if what she did was wrong.
WHAT DO PEOPLE THINK?
“I don’t know how you expected anything else from a family who has been telling you for years they don’t respect you or any “others”. When people tell you who they are, believe them.”, said one user.
“Why even choose to marry into a family like this? OP knew before the wedding they don’t respect her. I don’t care how great a guy is, I’m not marrying into a crazy in-law family.”, said another user.
More From Mrs Daaku Studio
He Took Care of His Daughter For Two Weeks While Wife Was Away. Says, “For all the work that I did, the one tiny mistake I made, and she slammed for after 2 weeks.” Is He Right?Read more to know what happened.
He REFUSED To Let The Passenger In Front of Him To Recline Her Seat on a Flight. She Calls Him A Jerk. Is This Justified?
He refused to let the passenger in front of him recline the seat. She gets irritated, but we think she is the one who is wrong. You decide. Read here.
She REFUSED To Pay Her Friend $7000 For Her Share of Trip To Italy. We Think She Did Right.
She REFUSED To Pay Her Friend $7000 For Her Share of Trip To Italy. We Think She Did Right. Read here
He Inherited His Brother’s Insurance & 401K. Refused To Share It With Brother’s Widow and Kids. Thinks He Is Right
He Inherited His Brother’s Insurance & 401K. Refused To Share It With Brother’s Widow and Kids. Thinks He Is Right.Read more.
He Took His friend’s Wallet By Mistake, and REFUSED To Return It When Asked. Thinks His Friend Is A Jerk, Not Him. Did He Go Too Far?
He Took His Friends Wallet By Mistake, and REFUSED To Return It When Asked. Thinks His Friend Is A Jerk, Not Him. Did He Go Too Far? Read here.
This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.