Many couples share their finances, but some choose to keep their finances separate. This can be for a variety of reasons, such as different spending habits or different financial goals.

A netizen recently asked, Am I a jerk because I don’t want to share my art commission money? We need to know your take on the matter.

Backstory

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Image Credits: Martin Novak, Shutterstock

The Original Poster’s (OP’s) husband works full-time, and she is a stay-at-home mom.

Sometimes, she works twice a week during the school year at a daycare. The income goes to their joint account, and they both get an allowance each paycheck.

OP’s Side Income 

pose for art class for desperate money
Image Credit: Deposit Photos.

On the side, in her free time, OP occasionally does commissioned artwork. And when she says occasionally, she gets maybe four a year. She wouldn’t consider it income because it isn’t consistent.

Her Husband’s Concerns 

Young couple planning their budget
Image Credits: Deposit Photos.

OP’s husband says they should split it because he doesn’t have a hobby that gives him extra income. OP said she uses it for art supplies to continue her hobby. Her husband wants 50/50 or 80% to go to her art fund, and they split the rest 50/50. 

What Does OP Say

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OP says, “I don’t want to share my commission money. I only make between $20-50 each commission and I don’t get them very often.

Maybe 2-5 a year… My husband says it’s not fair that I get extra money to spend and he doesn’t. Am I the jerk?”

Some Additional Info 

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Image Credits: StockImageFactory.com, Shutterstock

OP later edited the post and added the following information:

“We each get $50 a month as our allowance. My husband makes $2800 a month, and I make $400 a month during the school year. We do have a tight budget. This is our shared income.”

The Amount Is Irrelevant

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“The amount is irrelevant; the principle is that you both support each other financially.  He contributes 100% of what he earns, you want to contribute only what you consider income, and art commissions aren’t income. But they are income even if they are not consistent (btw many jobs are commission only and inconsistent like that).

Anything you earn is income, by excluding your art you are essentially stealing from your joint account.”

Your Domestic Labor Is Valuable

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“Not the jerk. The people crying about the fair split are ignoring that after supplies, this is about $10. Having a hobby that makes you a few extra bucks—enough to buy a couple of coffees for each one you make is completely fair when you’re also caring for the kids. Your domestic labor is valuable. I’m sorry so many people are ignoring that part of the equation.” 

It’s Basically A Self-Sustaining Hobby

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“Not the jerk. Your income already goes to the joint account, and if you worked more then your entire paycheck would be going to childcare, so your husband would still be paying the brunt of these bills. Your art commissions only bring in enough to cover supplies, so it’s basically a self-sustaining hobby. He can go find one for himself.”

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