Being snarky about someone’s way of eating food on their birthday is not just crazy. It’s ridiculous! Especially when the person is not used to a particular culture’s eating norms. 

An internet user asked, “Am I a jerk for telling my SIL to butt off and let me eat food the way I want?”. We need to hear your thoughts.


I really cant take this anymore. a young couple having a disagreement while sitting at home
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

The Original Poster (OP) (36F) is a white girl married into a Japanese family. Her husband’s family has never really accepted her because she is white, but they’re not that bad most of the time. 

“Usually, they are just cold, but my Sister-In-Law (SIL) is very hostile, especially when it comes to food.”, says OP. 


young pretty woman feeling stupefied and scared, fearing something frightening, with hands open up front saying stay away
Image Credits: Deposit Photos.

OP doesn’t like sushi, and her SIL always tries to get her to eat it and has yelled at her for things like using too much soy sauce, eating her dumpling whole and not dipping it in sauce first, mixing wasabi with her soy sauce, drinking sake with rice, etc.


Image Credits: Deposit Photos

Recently, they went out for dinner with them for OP’s birthday. OP is okay with chopsticks, but she still struggles with them sometimes. OP was trying to pick up a piece of meat, and she just used one of the chopsticks to stab the meat and eat it. 

SIL immediately started yelling at OP, saying she was disrespectful. OP told her she would eat her food however she liked and asked her to mind her business. 

“She always does this, and I have had enough. People can eat however they like. I am sick of her picking at my food habits.”, says OP. 


Young brunette woman wearing casual blue shirt afraid and terrified with fear expression stop gesture with hands, shouting in shock. panic concept.
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

Her SIL said OP was being disrespectful to her culture. OP told her how she chose to eat food is her choice and she must mind her own business. Things got ugly, and OP left. OP’s husband stayed with them. 


Concept of waiting for birth of a kid. She is on early period of pregnancy. Lovely tender cute gentle glad cheerful lovers are hugging each other on the floor
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

She has been married to her husband for five years and has been dating for 7; she has learned his language and speaks Japanese with his family. 

His family has had none of that same respect for OP; to this day, none of his family has ever tried Egyptian food or tried to learn the language. OP has been expected to learn it even though they speak perfect English. 

“We live in Europe, yet I am always expected to conform to his culture. Am I a jerk?” asks OP. 


Young beautiful redhead woman wearing casual sweater over isolated pink background clueless and confused with open arms, no idea concept.
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

OP later edited the post and added the following information:

“Every time I ask for a fork, his family gets offended, so I can’t ask for one. 99% of the time, I do okay with chopsticks. This piece was just tiny and slippery. I used the bottom chopstick to poke it a little for extra grip, then used the other one.”


Beautiful brunette young woman wearing glasses and casual clothes sitting on the table clueless and confused expression with arms and hands raised. doubt concept.
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

“Not the jerk. Ma’am, your husband chose his family over you on your birthday. You have much bigger issues than his sister not respecting you. He doesn’t even respect you.”


Frustrated young girl shrugging shoulders isolated over gray background. I do not know where to spend her vacation, what destination to choose.
Image Credits: Deposit Photos.

“Not the jerk. It should be obvious that his family will never accept or treat you as they should. That’s very sad, but it’s not going to change, and if your husband allows them to behave that way towards his wife, you have a marriage problem.” 


Young furious woman with opened mouth and mad look gesturing against gray background
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

“Not the jerk. It’s no one’s business how you use utensils as long as you’re not being disgusting. I wouldn’t feel disrespected if someone was using a fork for soup. I would think they’re crazy, but I wouldn’t yell.” 


Young beautiful woman wearing casual clothes, posing on white background
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

“Not the jerk. I am Japanese, but you live in Europe, and that doesn’t make sense to me.

There is no need to learn Japanese when you are not in Japan. Likewise, there is no need to learn Japanese manners.

Why don’t you ask your husband if he would instead take his wife or his family, and if he disagrees, consider divorce? That is a typical toxic family.”


Close up portrait of a unsatisfied pretty woman wearing bright make up looking at camera isolated over pink background
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

“Not the jerk, and SIL sounds like she’s looking for any reason to scrutinize you simply because you are not Japanese. You learned an entirely new language for them, and they can’t be bothered to even try things from your culture? They sound entitled and disrespectful.” 


Don't know, sorry. Portrait of clueless uncertain confused curly-haired woman in urban style hoodie shrugging shoulders in questioning gesture, looking with indifference. indoor studio shot isolated
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

“Why did you go to a Japanese restaurant for your birthday? You have much bigger relationship issues to work on, clearly, but in the meantime, stop eating Japanese food with them. You live in Europe! Go to any other kind of restaurant.” 

More From Mrs Daaku Studio

Image Credits: Deposit Photos

Mother loses her calm as Son refuses to help with younger siblings on a vacation. Says “If You Cannot Help The Woman That Birthed You, Get Out and Pay For Yourself”. Thinks It’s Fair. Read what happened here. 

Father Corrects Teacher’s Pronunciation of Daughter’s Name; School Accuses Him of ‘Questioning Authority’. Is This Ok?

Girl looking desperate about angry mother. Mother shouting to unhappy daughter.
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

A father has to deal with school authorities who accused him of questioning authority. says, the only thing he did was correct pronunciation. Read: Father Corrects Teacher’s Pronunciation of Daughter’s Name; School Accuses Him of ‘Questioning Authority’. Is This Ok?

Her Family Invites Her Over and asks NOT To Bring Her Adopted Kid. Suggest “Sending Her To Sleep Away Camp.” Is This Justified?

Wrong behaviour. Aggressive angty mother and father screaming on a kid while being in a room
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

What do you do if your family isn’t supportive of the adopted child you have? Read – Her Family Invites Her Over, Asks NOT To Bring Her Adopted Kid. Suggest “Sending Her To Sleep Away Camp”. Is This Justified?

Wife Decides To Teach Son’s A Lesson, Cuts Short Vacation Time To 1 Day. Husband and Mother-in-Law ACCUSE Her Of “Ruining It”; Give Silent Treatment. Is She Right?

Really annoyed man in black t-shirt against grey background
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

The wife decides that she needs to teach Son’s a lesson, and cuts short vacation time to 1 day. Their husband and mother-in-law accuse her of “ruining it” and give the silent treatment. Is she right? We definitely think so. Read what happened.

Boyfriend Furious As Girlfriend Takes His 1967 Impala To Scrapyard Behind His Back. Says, “I’ll Sue You and Make You Pay”. Is This Really Messed Up?

angry hatred
Image Credits: Roman Samborskyi, Shutterstock

Boyfriend furious as girlfriend takes his 1967 impala to scrapyard behind his back. Says, “I’ll Sue you and make you pay”. Is this really messed up? Read what happened here.

This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.

Similar Posts