His daughter has a disorder, but she is doing well now. Still, he wants her daughter to let her boyfriend know her secret.
A user asked the forum, Am I a jerk for wanting my daughter’s boyfriend/soon-to-be fiance to know her dark secret before marriage?
The original poster ( OP ) is the dad of a 25-year-old young woman who he loves very much.
OP has been able to have a good relationship with his daughter, and he enjoys his time with her, but OP says that there’s one thing about her that would give many people pause – she is a diagnosed sociopath.
SHE HAS ODD BEHAVIOUR
OP says that she exhibited odd, disturbing behavior at a young age, and after a serious incident of abuse towards her younger sister, OP realized she needed professional help.
He says that throughout her elementary years, she struggled heavily, getting in lots of trouble in school for lying, cruelty, and all other types of misbehavior.
OP added that with an enormous amount of therapy & support, her bad behavior was minimized as she grew older. Also, she received an ASPD diagnosis at 18, and OP had suspected it for a long prior.
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
OP says that after her aggressive behavior was tamed, the following years were much more fruitful for her. He added that she’s law-abiding, has a decent job and a good education, and has many good friendships and admirers.
Especially OP’s daughter has male admirers as she is charming and adept at attracting guys and maintaining their interest.
WHAT IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW
OP says that she currently has a boyfriend of about a year and a half who’s crazy about her and with whom OP has a strong relationship. They spend time together. He says that he is a great guy, very kind, funny, and intelligent.
But OP doubts her daughter loves him.
OP and his daughter have had some frank, in-depth discussions about her mental health since her diagnosis, and she’s been open with him that she doesn’t feel love or empathy towards anyone, even family.
SHE NEVER HAS FEELINGS
OP shared that when she acted very sad and broke up over the death of one of her closest friends at the funeral, she confessed to him privately that it was all a put-on and that she felt “pretty neutral” about the whole thing.
He says that his daughter has also stated she has never once felt guilty about anything she’s ever done and doesn’t know what guilt feels like.
WHAT DOES OP FEEL LIKE
OP feels that while his daughter enjoys being around her boyfriend and is attracted to him, OP doubt she doesn’t feels much of anything towards him love-wise.
HE HAS NO IDEA
OP says that his daughter’s boyfriend, who is going to propose to her soon, has no idea about her diagnosis. His daughter has been very upfront with him that she has no plans to tell her boyfriend as she thinks it will scare him.
OP had made it clear to his daughter that she needed to tell him the truth before marriage. He said that he has the right to know and consider it, or he will say it to him.
OP FEELS THAT HE DESERVES TO KNOW
OP’s daughter replied that he wouldn’t dare to do it. But OP says that he would do it because he likes and respects that young man.
OP would feel awful keeping this secret from his daughter’s boyfriend and also feels that it is not good to let him walk into the marriage without knowing his daughter’s disorder.
WHAT ELSE DOES HE FEEL
OP says that he was not trying to sabotage his daughter’s future. Also, he feels that maybe her boyfriend’s love of her personality and other aspects is enough that it won’t end the relationship.
He says that he decides to make, and he deserves to know all the facts. Someday he’s bound to find out that his daughter is a bit off, and it can’t be kept a secret forever.
YOU MUST CONSULT A PSYCHOLOGIST
“This is absolutely the hardest one I have ever read. I think it is above Reddit’s pay grade. OP, you should talk with a psychologist about it.”
HE DESERVES TO KNOW
“What an awful situation to be in. I know she’s your daughter, but this is marriage for this guy, and he deserves to know. You already told her you were going to tell if she didn’t, so I think you should.”
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This article originally appeared on Mrs Daaku Studio.