If people can celebrate divorces, why can’t they do the same at the end of an alimony?

An internet user asked, “Am I a jerk for throwing my brother at the end of an alimony party?”. We need you to look into this matter.


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The Original Poster’s (OP’s) elder brother and his ex had a rocky marriage before they finally divorced. OP feels there were enough faults on both parts so that no one can claim the high ground. Because his income was several times hers, the court awarded her alimony.

“Thankfully, they were married for less than ten years, so he only had to pay her alimony for half of their marriage. His last payment to her will happen this month, so the guys and I are planning an end to the alimony party for him.”, says OP. 


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They’re planning a week-long stay in Vegas at the Wynn and will chip in to fully cover his end. 

“Because we’re planning to go at the end of the month, and there are about a dozen guys going, we’ve been texting and talking to coordinate the trip,” says OP.


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When the trip was planned, OP told his girlfriend, and she wasn’t happy about it. She wasn’t mad that they were having a guy’s trip because they’d taken separate vacations without any issues. She was unhappy with the theme and said it was in bad taste.

“I disagreed, and we had discussions about it until we agreed to disagree.”, says OP. 


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On Friday, OP’s girlfriend was using his phone to watch her shows, and one of the guys sent a picture he designed for a shirt they plan to make for OP’s brother to wear. 

The gist of the design is that he’s free of alimony payments and can afford to eat again with some graphics. 

It was in a group text, and the other guys texted their robust approval. This sent OP’s girlfriend into a rage OP has never seen before.


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OP and his girlfriend got into a huge argument that lasted all weekend. They even had to cancel dinner plans they had with some friends. 

“I thought our argument was ending, but this morning, while we were getting ready for work, she gave me the silent treatment and completely ignored my questions.”, says OP. 


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His girlfriend wants him to cancel the trip and admit they’re terrible people for celebrating something so painful. OP doesn’t want to cancel the trip, and his brother is excitedly looking forward to the end of his payments, so OP doesn’t see any pain. 

“I honestly don’t know why she’s so mad because none of this has anything to do with her. She doesn’t even know the ex since they divorced before we met.”, says OP. 


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OP later edited the post and added the following information:

“1. My brother and his ex both worked during their marriage. He’s a dentist, and she is a teacher, so their income was unbalanced, so she was awarded alimony.

  1. He didn’t starve during the alimony years, but his lifestyle was severely impacted. His monthly alimony payments were more than her monthly salary.
  2. There are no kids involved. They did not have children together, so there was no child support.
  3. The shirt graphic is of the Monopoly guy pulling both pockets out of his pants to signify he’s out of money. 
  4. To my knowledge, my girlfriend never met the ex, and I’m not sure she even knows the ex’s name. We met after my brother’s divorce was finalized, and we’ve been referring to his ex as the ex. We never used her name.
  5. My girlfriend’s parents are divorced, which was back in the day. I don’t know anything about their alimony or child support because she doesn’t talk about it, and I don’t want to be pushy with a sensitive topic.” 

Is OP a jerk?


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“Women have celebrations all the time when they win an alimony judgment. Why can’t men celebrate the end of alimony? Not the jerk.” 


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“Not the jerk. Your woman is being a drama queen. Don’t cancel the trip. Tell her to get over herself and stop being controlling. If she doesn’t like it, show her the door. 

I say this as a female who threw a huge party when I finally left my ex. My other female friends celebrated when they broke up with their jerks.” 


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“Not the jerk, but this shows some pretty big red flags. It sounds like your girlfriend’s upset that you wouldn’t be open to paying her when you divorce her. She can’t claim girl code because this happened before she was even around, and it has nothing to do with her. Enjoy your trip, and reconsider your relationship.” 


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“Not the jerk, and she’s one of those folks who sees alimony as an entitlement from a relationship. You see your brother’s perspective, and she’s sympathizing with a woman she’s never met and taking her side. I would advise against marrying her without an ironclad prenuptial because her reaction to it is rather telling.” 


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“Not the jerk. Getting out of a financial burden sounds like a good thing to celebrate. Your brother could chip in some money he’s no longer forced to pay. 

The vibe from her is that she thinks alimony should go on forever, and your brother should still pay it even though he’s not obligated. It also feels like if you marry and divorce her, she will do her best to soak you for as much as possible.”

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