Money is a major factor in life, and it can often be a source of conflict in relationships. This is especially true when partners have different attitudes, habits, expectations, and financial contributions. But what happens when one partner refuses to help the other?
A user asked, “Am I wrong for not wanting to pay for my wife’s spending money?” Here is the full story:
What You Need To know?
The Original Poster (OP) is married and has a daughter. Before the birth of this daughter, the OP, and his wife both worked full-time in low-middle-earning jobs. OP’s wife’s job paid a bit more than his, but only by a little.
What Happened Next
OP’s wife returned to work when their daughter was 3 months old because of necessity. OP says his wife’s mental health became terrible, and she has a minor disability that makes work life hard.
She found it worse after having the daughter. There was, however, no other choice according to both of them.
Nan Passed Away
OP’s wife’s nan, who raised her and was her only family, passed away when the daughter was 6 months old. OP’s wife inherited everything, and it was a pretty big inheritance.
How Much Was The Inheritance
It was enough to buy a decent house straightaway, a new car, and put some away for a comfortable retirement.
Related: Sister Made Homemade Food For Everyone Except Her Brother’s Stepdaughter. We Think She Is Justified.
What Happened After The Death Of Her Nan?
Shortly after OP’s wife’s nan died, she became a stay-at-home mom.
It was partially due to grief and struggles at her job and a bit because she preferred to stay home and care for her daughter. The OP says, “Thing is though, I’d rather not work and be a stay-at-home dad too, but I’ve been sucking it up because we still need an income to get by.”
OP’s Wife’s View And What He Said:
OP’s wife spoke with the OP on budgeting so we can live off of just one income. OP’s wife has been dipping into savings to pull her weight, but that’s tied in investments now.
What Does OP Say
The OP says, “I said if I’m the one who has to work (and I’d rather not), I don’t think I should have to spend my money funding her hobbies and spending money. If she chooses not to work, she can buy clothes at the charity shop instead of new clothes and get a friend to cut her hair for free, etc.”
Suggests She Can Get A Job
OP says she can get a job working a night shift or start an online business to contact her spending money. OP says he doesn’t see why he should pay for her sewing materials and gym memberships since he doesn’t benefit from them.
OP says, “I’m happy to pay for stuff for our daughter seeing as she’s my responsibility, so I don’t think I’m being unreasonable here.”
What Happened Next
The OP mentions that he works 36 hours weekly and pays for the bills and food. OP’s wife argued it is not fair if the OP can enjoy his gym membership and videos, but she cannot. The OP contends that he pays all of that with his money.
Reaction From His Wife
At this point, OP’s wife said her inheritance was worth more than if she had spent her whole life working. Without that, both (OP and her) would be working anyway and have higher expenses from mortgage, car loans, etc. She asked the OP to count that as her contribution and share his money.
The OP asks am I wrong?
The Inheritance Is Solely Hers
“You are aware that the inheritance belonged solely to your wife? Right? She didn’t have to buy you a house, car or fund your retirement.”
She Has A Lot To Do
“She’s raising your child, and without her doing so you’d be paying a stranger to do it. Think of your child and the benefits to having her mother be her FT carer while she’s so young. You are a jerk, OP”
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This article originally appeared on Mrs Daaku Studio.