Weddings are specials, and you want to have everything perfect and within budget. But, what if something goes wrong? How would you tackle it?

A Redditor wants to know if she is in the wrong. She asked on a popular sub-Reddit, Am I The A..hole, AITA for refusing to wear a hand-me-down wedding dress?

Here is the full story:


The Original poster (OP), a 23 years old female, recently got engaged to Jim, who is 25 years old. They don’t like super extravagant weddings, so they planned to keep things simple and frugal. They received money from their families, which they used for a lovely honeymoon, and used their bank accounts for the wedding day.

OP’s stepmother, Kim, and OP had a good relationship. She gave OP a hefty amount of money and asked that she use it for a wedding dress.

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OP’s stepmother said that she was poor at the time of her first wedding and didn’t get to wear a beautiful dress on her big day, and it would mean the world for her to get to wear one. OP obliged. 

OP wasn’t planning on spending her own money on an expensive dress. Still, with Kim’s additional cash, OP could wear her dream dress. OP’s mother took her dress shopping along with OP’s grandmother and helped OP pick the perfect dress. 

It was a classic fit and flare, and OP was able to get some custom embroidery done as well. Not only was it a beautiful dress, but it flattered her body perfectly.

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What Happened Next?

A few days after OP picked out the dress, however, Kim approached OP and asked her if OP would like to wear the old wedding dress that was of Kim’s mother from the 1970s, and said she’d give OP twice the money she had initially offered to do whatever she pleased with, if OP agreed. OP turned her down. 

OP knew it was a lot of money, but the wedding was a day she would remember for the rest of her life, and she wanted to wear a dress that would suit her. The dress in question was puffy with no shape–it would be like getting married in a down jacket.

When OP said no, Kim explained that she sent a photo of OP in the dress to her stepsister, Bea, who is 25 years old. Bea freaked out and said she wouldn’t come to the wedding if OP wore that dress.

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Some Background On Bea, OP’s stepsister

OP and Bea’s relationship was strained from the beginning. OP had better grades than Bea, dated better-looking guys, went to a more prestigious college, and got a higher-paying job; and OP was now getting married to the guy they both liked in high school while Bea was still single. 

Plus, Bea was overweight and very insecure about how she looked and had always taken out her insecurities on OP. Kim also said that watching OP getting married to Jim would be hard enough, and OP would worsen it after wearing a dress like that (the one she bought). 

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How Did OP React?

OP still refused to wear the old dress. OP told Kim she would not compromise her wedding to coddle Bea’s insecurities. Kim then asked for her money back, and OP denied it as the dress was already paid for.

OP left it at that, but then she received a call from her dad telling her that she was rude to Kim and Bea and that she should be able to compromise a small thing about an otherwise perfect wedding for Bea’s sake, or at least pay Kim back the money for the dress. 

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OP did give her back the leftover money, which was a couple hundred dollars, but she refused to give back the money she spent on her dress or wear a different dress. OP asks, “Am I wrong for that?” 

Was OP correct to refuse wearing the old dress or give money back? Was it inappropriate for OP’s stepmother to ask OP to wear a old dress just so that the stepsister can feel good? How would you have reacted in this situation?

This article originally appeared on Mrs Daaku Studio.

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