A user asked the forum, “Am I a jerk for heating my son’s lunch in my brother’s microwave?”
The Original Poster’s (OP) son has sensory issues and will likely be diagnosed with autism in a few weeks as well as chronic GERD. OP says that she packs food for him whenever they go anywhere to eat.
OP’S BROTHER IS MARRYING HIS GIRLFRIEND
OP’s brother is marrying Tisha. OP says that Tisha grew up in a fundamentalist religion. OP also addresses that Trisha is not nearly as devout as when she grew up.
TRISHA HAS DIETARY LAWS
She says one of the things Trisha held onto is very specific dietary laws.
OP says that that is fine, but the way Trisha enforces them seems very legalistic and way beyond the point of any actual rules.
HIS BROTHER CHANGED THE WHOLE KITCHEN
Also, Trisha had OP’s brother change his whole kitchen to fit these dietary rules.
OP says that he spent a fortune of money and now has two dishwashers.
The problem is that now OP’s brother won’t let any food that Tisha doesn’t pre-approve into the house.
Trisha either has to cook everything, or they have to drive an hour to get food at restaurants that she would be okay with.
OP says that this has caused some issues in their family. Her brother, since before he met Tisha, has always hosted family events at his place due to his central location and that he has the largest house by far.
OP says that now they have to eat what Tisha cooks or all eat outside on plastic ware.
FATHER’S DAY CELEBRATIONS
That day they did Father’s Day Celebrations at OP’s brother’s house. They had pizza, which is her dad’s favorite, but her son couldn’t eat, so she brought lunch for him.
OP says that her brother has a microwave in his basement and some old bowls that she is supposed to use.
But that day, it was busted.
OP HEATED FOOD IN MICROWAVE
So OP just went and heated his food in the kitchen. Tisha walked in while OP was doing it and lost her mind.
TRISHA FREAKED OUT
OP said that Trisha started freaking out about what was in her son’s lunch, what plates did she use, what did it touch, etc.
Soon everyone was in the kitchen; OP’s son was crying, and her husband and brother were going at each other. OP felt that it was just chaotic.
HER DAD’S DAY WAS RUINED
And their dad’s day was ruined. So they eventually left. Then OP’s brother texts her, saying how disrespectful she was.
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
OP’s husband was angry. Now OP’s mom wants her to apologize for putting her son’s food in his uncle’s microwave.
OP addresses that she has no plans of doing any such thing to apologize.
YOU SHOULD RESPECT HER RULES
“You know the rules of the home. Period. It sounds like Tisha keeps Kosher, which means yes, things need to be kept separate.
You can disagree with the household rules by not attending events. You cannot disrespect their home because you don’t like being inconvenienced. Plus, they make plenty of thermoses and other gadgets to keep your child’s food warm.”
YOU MUST APOLOGIZE
“You are being incredibly disrespectful and dismissive of her religion. Please apologize and get educated about her religion and dietary rules.
You should have used your words and asked for guidance if the microwave you were directed to use wasn’t working.
But it sounds like you don’t like Tisha, resent the changes your brother has willingly made for the woman he loves and is marrying, and figured your needs were more important.
You have likely made changes in your home to accommodate your son’s sensory issues.
How would you feel if she came into your house, broke your rules and did something to trigger your child’s sensory issues and then claimed you were being OCD?”
YOU ARE TRYING TO BLAME
“You know it would violate her religious beliefs in her home, but you did it anyway and are now trying to pin the blame on her because you do not respect her restrictions.
You absolutely owe your sister-in-law, brother and father an apology.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.