A user asked the forum, “Am I a jerk for Not Allowing Alcohol at my wedding?”
The Original Poster(OP) will be getting married in May of next year and she is currently planning the reception. She has already secured a venue.
OP says that she was having a discussion with her fiancé about possible food options like catering or cooking, what types of food, buffet style or served, etc.
HER MOTHER AND AUNTS WERE VISITING THEM
OP’s mother (60F) and one of her aunts (56F) were visiting. She says they threw in some thoughts and advice, as they’ve had weddings, which she appreciated.
She says that the topic of drinking came up, and her aunt asked what kind of cocktails they would be serving.
She told her that they wouldn’t be serving alcohol at the wedding. Her aunt was shocked and asked what everyone was going to drink.
IT IS UNHEALTHY
OP told her water, sweet tea, lemonade, fruit punch, and soda would be available. Her aunt said soda was a bad idea because it’s so unhealthy, and so is sweet tea and overly sugary lemonade and fruit punch.
SHE IS PLANNING TO HAVE FRESH FRUITS
She told her if her aunt was so concerned about sugar content, she could stick with water, and they were planning on having plenty of fresh fruit she could add to it.
They would also have unsweetened tea for her diabetic family members, or they can request or bring a desirable alternative.
OP DOESN’T WANT TO SERVE ALCOHOL
OP’s aunt asked why alcohol couldn’t be a request. She said she didn’t want to serve any at my wedding.
OP and her fiancé would be financially responsible for the purchase, and alcohol would be out of their budget. They also added that they would feel responsible for their actions.
OP FEELS RESPONSIBLE FOR HER DRUNK GUESTS
Her aunt asked if she and the other drinkers of the family could bring their beer and added it really wouldn’t be a party without one.
OP refused because it was her wedding and fiancé, and she would feel responsible for drunk guests.
IT HAS TO BE FUN
OP says they also want to have a fun and happy wedding because everyone there loves each other and is happy to celebrate their family/our union.
IT IS A SHAME
Her aunt said it was a shame she wasn’t getting married in a church, and the least she could do was make up for it with a good reception.
OP IS ANGRY
She told her if her aunt couldn’t go one evening without drinking, then maybe she was the one with a problem.
At this point, OP’s mom jumped in and told her that she needed to apologize, but OP refused and said that she didn’t appreciate how her aunt had spoken to her and that she needed to leave.
OP’S AUNT COMPLAINED ON FACEBOOK
They ended up going, but then OP’s aunt complained the next day on Facebook about her “dry wedding” and said she wouldn’t torture herself driving an hour and a half to my venue just to have a bad time.
She also explained how the conversation went the day before and said OP called her a drunk for being healthy.
OP GOT FLOODED WITH MESSAGES
OP has been getting a lot of messages, some supportive, some on the fence, and some very angry that she wants to ruin a good reception by acting like it’s the prohibition era.
OP was confused and asked if she was a jerk.
ALCOHOL IS THE PROBLEM
“Honestly, what’s with people being unable to attend a single sober party? If you need alcohol to feel fun, the problem may be alcohol.”
IT IS RIDICULOUS
“I love that your aunt thinks beer is healthier than lemonade. And that god’s preference is you get married in a church and then pay for everyone to get wasted after.
The wedding will be better off without her.”
IT IS YOUR CHOICE BUT DON’T JUDGE
“Recovering alcoholic here (9 years sober). You are not a jerk for choosing to have a dry wedding. You are paying for it. Your choice.
But you are a jerk for judging your aunt’s drinking. No one can or should call someone else an alcoholic – not ok. A lot of people enjoy combining alcohol with social situations. Some (like myself in the past) take it too far.
Your comments are very judgmental. Glad you will be informing people that it’s a dry event. Don’t be surprised if your wedding size decreases or people don’t stay long. Your choice.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.