Weddings are significant events that mark a new chapter in a couple’s life, symbolizing their commitment to each other. However, it’s crucial to remember that weddings should not lead to financial strain and debt, and couples should plan within their means.
A Redditor asked and wants to know, Am I wrong for not letting my sister-in-law (SIL) use my wedding dress for her wedding even though she can’t afford one?
Backstory:
The Original Poster (OP) is a 28-year-old female with a younger brother who is 24 years. The younger brother has a fiance who is a 23-year-old female.
OP’s brother is supposed to get married in the spring season after being engaged for approx. 1 year. OP says his younger brother has always been the golden child between them to OP’s mom (not to OP’s dad). OP’s brother and his fiancée currently live with the latter, rent-free.
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What Does OP Feel?
OP’s dad and OP have mixed feelings about this wedding, and they both feel like OP’s brother needs to be more financially savvy.
He just finished his bachelor program a year ago, is still trying to get on his feet and find an excellent full-time job in his field, and decides to spend thousands of dollars on a wedding.
They sat him down, explained this to him, and asked him what the rush was? Why not push it off for a few years and save up so you can have the wedding of your dreams? He explained that his fiancée wants the wedding as soon as possible and doesn’t want to wait.
His fiancée’s family is pitching in a couple thousand for the wedding, and OP’s dad is also reluctantly pitching in a couple thousand.
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What Happened That Triggered OP?
A few nights ago, OP was eating dinner with her husband when she got a call from her future SIL (brother’s fiance). While the conversation starts out standard with “hey, how are you?” “bad weather we’re having,” etc., etc., it quickly turned serious.
She asks OP if she can wear OP’s wedding dress, which OP wore to OP’s wedding JUST OVER A YEAR AGO. She explains that she can’t afford one herself, that she absolutely LOVES OP’s dress, and that it would be her “something borrowed.”
OP immediately shut her down and said she was sorry but couldn’t. She says, “this is a THOUSANDS of dollars dress we’re talking about, that she’d have to get altered to fit her, too, so no way. We’re also not even close and barely talk, so what the hell?”
The future SIL starts begging, CRYING, and going on about how she can’t afford one, and OP refuses again. She then goes on about how OP is not financially helping her and OP’s brother pay for the wedding, so the least OP can do is let her use my dress.
OP told her that she thinks they’re rushing into having a wedding and not being financially savvy. The future SIL said she didn’t care; she has a timeline and wants to be married by 25.
What Did OP Say, and What Did SIL Do?
OP said to her that she had made her bed, so now she has to lie in it and figure it out herself, and if she can’t afford her WEDDING DRESS, then she should not be having a wedding. Simple as that.
Future SIL returned to OP’s mom and brother to tell them what OP said. They think OP is a jerk because she has the money to financially help her brother and his fiancée. Still, she is being “selfish” and “unsupportive.” They also think, “it’s just a dress, so what’s the big deal.”
OP’s dad, however, is on OP’s side and defending me. He is now considering taking back his financial help due to the sheer audacity of her brother’s fiancée asking for it.
What do you think? Do you think it was appropriate for the OP to refuse financial help and the dress? Was it inappropriate for OP’s future sister-in-law to ask for the dress?
This article originally appeared on Mrs. Daaku Studio.