The truth may often be perceived as rude, but does that mean we should avoid speaking facts?
An internet user asked, “Am I a jerk for saying ‘Again?’ after my sister announced that she’s pregnant with twins.”
Here’s the full story for your context.
Backstory
The Original Poster’s (OP’s) (21f) sister (32f) has been married to her husband (33M) for 8 years. They already have 6 kids total, the last one born 5 months ago.
What Happened Yesterday?
Yesterday, OP’s sister announced that she’s 3 months pregnant with twins and while everyone was congratulating her, OP said out loud “Oh my god, again? Can’t your stupid husband leave you alone?”
OP didn’t mean to say it out loud, but it slipped out and OP’s sister looked at her angrily and literally dragged OP into another room and asked “Why the hell did you say that?”
What Did OP Tell Her Sister?
OP told her that she and her husband have been pregnant every year for the last 8 years and that she needs to take a break.
“I was worried about her having so many babies in such a short time and I didn’t want anything bad happening to her.”, says OP.
OP’s Sister’s Response
OP’s sister then said, “How about YOU leave us alone and worry about your own life? This is MY life, so get lost!”.
OP’s mother told her that she should apologize for being rude but OP told her that she won’t apologize for showing concern.
OP’s Thoughts
“But now, I just can’t help thinking that maybe I was being a jerk and sticking my nose into other people’s business. I was just worried but maybe I was being a jerk. Am I a jerk?”, asks OP.
That’s Too Many Children
“Not the jerk. We as a society need to move away from the idea that parents are above reproach. That’s too many children to adequately care for in today’s society. You could have been more tactful, but someone needs to think about the well-being of her kids here.”
Hiding Your Concerns Isn’t A Great Idea Either
“Not the jerk. I’m sorry but I’m not one of those people that would hide my concerns if I don’t think the pregnancy is good for them. Maybe your delivery was harsh but it sounds like it was unintentional and it really did just slip out.
I didn’t exactly have that reaction but I had a relative get pregnant recently and I’ll be honest, I thought it was a bad idea for it to be so soon with where they currently were in life. I didn’t exactly go negative but I just didn’t respond to the news at all for what felt like an eternity (this was probably 10 or 20 seconds in reality).
The point being people may not like it but I think you’re allowed to have concerns about it. But you might have to distance yourself from them if you won’t drop it.”
More People Should Think Like That
“Not the jerk, that’s way too many kids for a set of parents to give enough individual time and attention to.
Not to mention finances and you can bet the older kids will be made to help with the younger ones (not their job) etc. Also the fact, the planet is overpopulated etc. I wish more people had your thoughts.”
What Are They Trying To Achieve?
“Not the jerk. What is your sister trying to achieve here… She will probably make the oldest take care of the youngest. It’s really weird to have so many children, there’s no way you give them equal time, love etc…”
You’re Definitely The Jerk
“You’re the jerk…You definitely have control of what you say out loud, and you knew what you were doing. Your comments are dripping with judgment. Take your sister’s advice.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.