People who are disrespectful towards you to your face and then have the audacity to be upset if you refuse to do them a favor deserve nothing!

An internet user asked, “Am I a jerk for refusing to make my Sister-In-Law (SIL) a wedding dress?”. What’s your take on the matter?


Image Credits: fizkes, Shutterstock

The Original Poster (OP) (27M) has loved making stuff since he was a kid, and he has worked with everything from wood to paint to welding and even fabric, which is what this situation concerns. 

“I made my wife’s dress since she couldn’t find one that fit her, her style, and our budget,” says OP. 


Suprised young man standing isolated on white - copyspace
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It wasn’t OP’s first time making clothes, but he certainly wasn’t an expert (nor does he think he is now, for that matter). 

“However, the dress turned out amazing, and everyone complimented it on our wedding day,” says OP.


emotion face. angry mad cross enraged woman. young beautiful blond girl portrait on white background.
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Most people were surprised OP was the one who made the dress, but his SIL (Sara 25F) was significantly not happy when she found out. 

“She took my wife aside during the reception to ask if she was okay marrying a guy who made dresses and made some homophobic remarks (my wife told me all this the day after),” says OP. 


1. couple fight
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Ever since, Sara has been rather cold to OP and treats him like he has the plague; like she isn’t outright mean, but she doesn’t talk directly to OP aside from pleasantries.  

“It kind of hurts, but whatever, I don’t generally see her since she lives in another state,” says OP. 


couple fight
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Sara recently got engaged to her boyfriend of 3 years and asked OP to make her a dress. 

“I have made wedding dresses for a few friends and a couple of my wife’s cousins, but I don’t want to make one for her,” says OP. 


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Sara has offered to pay OP for his work, but that’s not the issue. It feels like she likes his job but doesn’t respect him; hell, she even disrespects him for making dresses. 


couple fight upset
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OP told Sara this and that OP knew about the remarks she made on his wedding day, and she got mad, saying OP was a jerk for holding something that happened years ago over her. 


What do you want? Portrait of irritated brunette man with small beard and mustache in casual shirt raising arms in anger, asking why, furious expression. indoor studio shot isolated on pink background
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“I brushed it off, but my wife’s family is harassing me about it, saying I shouldn’t deny her the dress when I’ve done it for other family members. I came here, though, since my dad told me I was being an idiot just to take the money. My wife supports me no matter what I decide. Am I a jerk?” asks OP.


wondered woman pointing up with finger and asking WTF
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“Not the jerk. SIL can take her nonsense elsewhere. She made her position on you clear and treated you badly. Let the people complaining make her dress. Don’t dare cave for her. She is unworthy of your artistic efforts.”


Young Russian girl isolated on yellow background having doubts while raising hands
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“Not the jerk. She brought this on herself! She first made homophobic comments and now wants to profit. That’s weak, and it’s your right not to do that. I certainly wouldn’t.” 


Young woman portrait over grey background
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“Not the jerk. The only thing that matters here is your feelings. To design a dress, you would have to interact with your SIL a lot and be dependent on her approval of an item she would be paying for. 

It’s a once-in-a-lifetime event, and she will have opinions about how it should look. It doesn’t sound like you’re up for that, so be honest and do what feels right. From what you described, refusing to make it is the best course of action.” 


pretty woman looking angry, annoyed and frustrated screaming wtf or what’s wrong with you
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“Not the jerk. I’m so glad your wife is backing you up. Please don’t give in because this woman will not be satisfied with whatever you do for her; I could see her damaging it somehow, then blaming you, and of course, telling everyone that you’re a jerk and you did it deliberately.”

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This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.

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