Taking care of foster children can be hard, especially when you already have your own kids
The Original Poster (OP) took it to the forum, and asked, “Am I wrong for not giving the foster daughter her own room?”. We want to hear from you.
OP and her husband started fostering 2 years back. They live in a three-bedroom house. They have a biological daughter and just had one condition when they started fostering that she would never share her room.
This year, they have two new foster placements – a 10-year-old girl and a 15-year-old girl.
They don’t know exactly how long these foster kids will be with them, but the current plan is 10 months minimum, with the likelihood it could be longer.
CAN SIBLINGS SHARE A ROOM?
Previously they were receiving single placements, but this year they got their first sibling group. In their county, siblings can share a room, both bio and foster.
The only condition is that non-bio siblings of opposite sex can’t share a room, which wasn’t an issue in this case.
WHAT DID THE FOSTER DAUGHTER SAY?
Recently, the 15-year-old girl said that she had her own room back at her place, so she wasn’t comfortable sharing her room with her 10 year old sibling here.
OP and her husband did everything possible to give the foster daughter her privacy.
They’ve tried to divide it with curtains, privacy panels, etc. They’ve also let her get a lot of personalized stuff for her room. But it was still not enough and she requested for her own room.
Their 13 year old daughter set one boundary when they started fostering that she wouldn’t share her bedroom, and they promised her that she wouldn’t have to.
OP and her husband still asked her once if she could share her room with the 10 year old foster sibling. She said no.
Their kid went from being single to having other children in the home. OP and her husband also make sure they get a lot of one on one time with her and still do stuff as a family.
She knows she can talk to her parents about anything. She’s always great with the other kids in their home but also deserves her own space where she can decompress.
THEY ARE CONFLICTED
They told their foster daughter about the situation and requested her to continue sharing her room with her sibling, but she wasn’t very happy about it and said that it was unfair.
OP and her husband are conflicted as to what to do. Their social worker backs them up, but some people they know say that they are in the wrong.
WHAT DO PEOPLE THINK?
“The sad reality is life is not fair sometimes. You made a promise to your daughter, and you would be wrong for going back on it.
The foster daughter is entitled to ask for their own room, but it just isn’t possible, unfortunately. Them being a foster or non-bio kid doesn’t really mean much for the argument.”, said one user.
EXPLAIN YOUR FOSTER DAUGHTER
“Explain to your foster daughter that you made a promise to your daughter and that you can’t go back on it. It’s that simple.”, said another user.
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