Is it necessary for you to like your son’s girlfriend. If you don’t like her, will you be bothered to be affecting their relationship?
A user asked, “Am I wrong for not catering to my son’s girlfriend enough?” And we want to hear from you.
Backstory:
The Original Poster (OP) is a 64-year-old female. Her son was over (31 years old), and she asked him about his three-year-old girlfriend.
What Does OP Say
OP says, “Now, I’ve only met her a handful of times, but I know they’re serious because they plan trips and talk about buying a home.”
OP Asked Why
OP asked why she never comes over because it seems she doesn’t like her. OP asked him this before, and he never answered, but today he seemed fed up and told OP it was because of her.
What Did OP Say?
He told OP that OP acted “too weird and intense.” When OP wanted examples, he told her
- OP kept on interrupting conversations she was having with OP’s husband. OP says, “…but it was because I think she was bored.
- OP tries to get too close to her during dinner. OP says, “OP thought she’d want to sit next to OP and get to know OP since she can sit next to OP’s son any other time.”
- OP wasn’t very hospitable by asking her to help clean up and not offering her coffee when OP offered everyone else. OP says, “I will admit that is true because I didn’t think she’d want any.”
OP says, “And he also brought up something I did with his ex years ago, which I’ve already apologized for.”
What Did OP Know?
OP told him she thought this was ridiculous. She’s a brilliant and capable woman. OP says, “I told him I don’t understand why she needs to be catered to like this. She can get her coffee! He said it’s not worth trying to explain things and left.”
OP Wants To Know
OP wants to know if she will be a jerk for doing that to his girlfriend and for thinking she’s quite immature for not wanting to come over to my house because she wasn’t catered to enough.
What Does OP Say
Says, “She may think I’m too weird, but I don’t think that justifies not coming over when she’s in a serious relationship with my son.”
This is what people have to say:
Misogynist Vibes
“You’re wrong. This isn’t her “needing to be catered to.” I highly suspect this is you being weirdly misogynistic.
- Sounds like you think she’s too stupid to hold a conversation with a man
- Sounds like you think the woman folk need to fade into the background for their hen talk and leave the Menfolk alone to have their smart and wise discussions
- She was your guest, and yet you made her clean up with you instead of your husband taking care of your guests and explicitly excluded her from coffee, which I’m GUESSING has to do something with your belief it’s time for her to get barefoot and pregnant
At the very least, you know what they say about assuming. Why would you assume she was bored talking to your husband or wouldn’t want coffee? Bar, anything else that’s extremely rude (as is interrupting!!!).
Finally, an apology without action means nothing. Sounds like you’re repeating the same old patterns of mistreating his ex instead of learning, growing, and handling things differently. Your apology is meaningless.”
OP Doesn’t Like The Girlfriend
“To be honest, I didn’t think it was misogyny, just OP not liking the gf.”
Gender Bias Here
“I thought the coffee thing was because the mom automatically catered to the “needs” of the men (bf and dad). So she got them coffee because they’re dudes, but since she’s a woman, she can get her own (because in the mom’s mind, it’s a woman’s job).”
She Is NOT Treated As A Guest
“You are wrong.
She’s not expecting to be ‘catered to’ but treated like the guest she is. This means that yes, you don’t interrupt conversations, you don’t get too close and clingy, and for the love of god, you don’t expect a house guest to clean up and then treat them like some pariah when you’re offering drinks to everyone.
Try putting the shoe on the other foot. Imagine if your son and his girlfriend invited you somewhere and then treated you the way you’d treated his girlfriend. If you think you’d be royally angry, then you can see why she’s angry.”
More From Mrs Daaku Studio
Relationships can be complicated and you don’t want anyone to take you for granted. Read about this Boyfriend Who Refuses To Buy Food For His Girlfriend For Two Weeks When She Was Laid Off. Says “Don’t Want To Give Money For Nothing
He Kicked Out His Stepmom From Her House Over A PS4. We Think He Is Justified.
They Cancelled Their 10 yo Daughter’s Birthday Party Because She Didn’t Wash The Dishes. We’re SHOCKED and Think They’re Wrong
Future Mother-in-Law Refuses To Accommodate Her Dinner Requests For Christmas. She Walked Off, Went Home and Everyone Is Shocked
Instead of Giving, Her Grandma “DEBTED” $14 In The Will. Netizens Thinks She Is Wrong, But We’re On Team Grandma
