Is it okay to feel offended over a joke? Most of the time, no. But what if someone jokes about your ordeal? That, my friend, becomes a problem.
A netizen recently asked, Am I a jerk for backing out of paying for my sister’s wedding dress over a “joke” she made? We want to hear your thoughts:
Backstory
OP had an incident on her wedding day back in 2017, where her former fiance abandoned her and ran away with his pregnant mistress.
That image, those details are forever engraved on OP’s mind and she’ll never forget how she felt that day. This was truly a turning point in her life. Her family has always been there for her so she kept close to them.
What Did OP Do For Her Younger Sister?
OP’s younger sister is currently engaged and her wedding will be in a few months. She’s struggling with money so OP decided to help her and her fiance and pay for the wedding dress.
This allowed her to be able to buy her dream wedding gown that costs 7,000($). It’s a lot for a dress but she literally cried because she wanted it.
What Happened A Few Days Before They Were Going To BUY The Dress?
This happened a few days before they agreed to buy the dress. They were eating dinner at OP’s parent’s home, and her cousin and aunt were there.
OP’s aunt was asking her sister about the wedding and her sister said that everything was going according to plan and then casually laughed and said “Let’s just hope he won’t run away with a pregnant mistress or something on our wedding day..”.
OP’s Reaction To Her Sister’s Statement
OP was blown away completely. Her sister laughed, and her aunt laughed too, as if this was a joke. She was mocking what happened with OP at her wedding.
What Does OP Say
OP says, “It happened so fast I got up and started screaming at her calling her an idiot, but my parents asked me to take it easy, and she said it was a joke and she didn’t “think” I’d react so intensely.
Aunt Remained Seated
My aunt remained seated, and my cousin asked me to calm down and drink some water, but I grabbed my stuff and as I was getting ready, I told my sister she was getting 0 dollars for her dream wedding dress then I walked out.
I heard a louder commotion as I walked and my dad and cousin followed me outside trying to talk but I asked to be left alone.”
The Aftermath
OP’s mom and dad spoke to her saying she was too harsh on her sister over a joke and said that she knows this is how she is with her dark sense of humor.
They said she’s been crying after OP decided to back out of helping her and said this’d ruin her wedding. They wanted OP to reconsider her decision since it might damage her relationship with her sister but OP refused.
“Did I overreact?” asks OP.
Some More Info
OP later edited the post and added the following information: “It’s my aunt that would usually bring up what happened from time to time and say stuff like “If what happened didn’t happen you would’ve had at least 2 kids now” or “Do you know what day it is? your wedding anniversary !”
It’s harsh, but she stopped doing it anymore. Maybe my sister is being influenced by her but still. It hurt the same, and more coming from my own sister.”
Charged Remarks Come With Charged Consequences
“This is how she is with her dark sense of humor.”
“Well, this is how *I* am with her dark sense of humor.”
Serious lack of self-awareness and simple respect from this sister. Charged remarks come with charged consequences.”
“I really like this. That’s how *she* is, and this is how *I* am. People tend to make more excuses for the squeakier wheel.” Another added.
Joking About Someone’s Trauma Is NOT COOL
“Let’s all joke about someone’s trauma, and then get mad at them when they react exactly how you’d expect someone with trauma to react.”
She’s Crying Over Her Dress And Not How Badly She Hurt You???
“She was crying over a dress. She should have been crying with remorse for how she hurt you. All she cares about is “HER DAY and HER DRESS” and YOUR wallet. Tell her to pound sand and if anyone in your family gives you all the things, tell them the same.
Tell them that in 10 years, IF she’s matured and can sincerely apologize, you MIGHT forgive her and you MIGHT consider a nice anniversary gift. If the marriage lasts that long.”
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