Brother’s wedding is an important event but can there a reason big enough for you to miss it? An internet user asked, “Am I a jerk for refusing to go to my brother’s ‘Overflow Wedding’?” . Here’s the full story for context. 


wedding lavish
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

Original Poster OP’s (23F) brother (30M) had been planning a wedding with his (26F) fiancee for a year. OP and her brother have never been close because of their age difference, but it’s not like they don’t get along. 

The Original Wedding Venue 

Unhappy bride and angry groom arguing, isolated on white background
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

OP’s brother had been dating for a few years, and his fiancee wanted to have this giant wedding with all of their family and hers plus friends, plus ones, etc., but they really couldn’t afford it.

They finally agreed to have this wedding at a venue that is somewhat small and they can afford it, but it does not allow more than 100 people in it at a time.

The “Overflow Wedding”

Studio shot of a young bride yelling to the groom and threatening him isolated on white background
Image Credits: Deposit Photos.

OP guesses her brother’s fiance and her parents were mad about this because more than 100 people are just in her family/friend list needed to be invited and their plus ones.

They Made A Compromise

Annoyed African-American young man in red casual shirt showing thumb down, expresses disagreement with grimace on the face, latin guy left bad review, dislike gesture
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

So they made a compromise where some guests would be a part of the 100, and the rest would be in the “overflow wedding,” so they would still be invited, but wouldn’t mess up this limit the venue has. 

The guests in that overflow room would watch the ceremony on a live stream video projected into this movie theater nearby the venue that they would rent out. 

“I guess renting out a room in a theater is cheaper? I don’t know”, says OP. 

Where Was OP Invited?

Annoyed irritated young feeling frustrated with something against red studio. Human facial expressions, emotions and feelings. Fatigue or boredom concept
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

OP’s brother’s fiancé’s list is the most important, so OP was invited to the overflow wedding! 

OP Is Frustrated

Portrait of pretty unsatisfied furious lady raise arm palm complain questioned communicate you isolated on pink color background.
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

OP was frustrated about this, and she asked her brother what this was about when they were at OP’s dad’s birthday party 2 weeks after she got the invite. He said it was fine because OP could go to the reception.

OP Is His Immediate Family

Headshot of blue eyed stunned woman with jaw dropped and eyes popped out, stares at camera with surprised expression, has hair bun, wears white shirt, poses in studio. Human reaction concept
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

OP told him that it was the principal. OP is his immediate family so she should be able to go to the normal venue. OP’s brother told OP that he needs to make his fiancé’s family happy and that she should understand.

Then he said they’re not that close of family, anyway, and that his fiancé needs to be happy at her wedding.

OP’s Ordeal & What Happened Next

Image Credits: Deposit Photos

OP says, “So basically, I told him that I will not be attending the wedding and that I should get to go to the main ceremony. He got mad at me, and we were yelling and fighting.

Multiple people at the party yelled at me for making a scene and that it is “Her day” and that I should be grateful for even getting to go to the overflow wedding. So, Am I a jerk?” 

That’s Nothing But A Shameless Gift Grab

angry woman with teeth
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

“Not the jerk. If there are 100 people in their lives who are more important to them than you, then they won’t miss you at the wedding. 

This whole overflow reception feels like a shameless gift grab. If you’re watching on a live stream from a completely different place, it’s not like it makes any difference to them whether you’re there or not.” 

It’s “Their” Day, Not Just Hers

Image Credit: Ljupco Smokovski, Shutterstock

“First of all, it’s not just ‘her day’. The minimum the bride needs for a wedding is a groom (or another bride, if that’s the way she sails), which makes it ‘their day’.

Secondly, it’s just common sense to have a wedding you can afford.  If you can only afford  100 people, trim the list. 

And finally, an overflow wedding with only select guests being at the actual venue is an idea that would give Miss Manners the vapors. Unless you’re marrying the king of England, your marriage shouldn’t be televised.” 

Your Brother Is Acting Crazy

An angry man isolated
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

“Your brother didn’t respect you enough to invite you (and from the sounds of it, the main wedding is probably 85% her family). It sounds like you are basically getting to watch a live stream.

You might as well do that from your house. You are an immediate family. I’d expect an invite to the real wedding too.” 

That’s Brand New Information!

looking angry, annoyed and frustrated
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

“Wow – overflow wedding. That is new to me. And how horrible! I’d refuse as well. And I wouldn’t send a gift because that is freaking rude.

He has to keep HER and HER family happy? What about his happiness and the happiness of his family? This doesn’t bode well for the long term.” 

It’s All About Choices 

Angry woman throwing shirt at relaxed man, being frustrated about boyfriend not helping with housework. Stressed adult getting mad at life partner, doing spring cleaning at home. Handheld shot.
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

“Not the jerk at all. They chose to semi-invite you and you chose to not attend. I really fear the life your brother is setting up for himself if the rest of their lives he has to make them happy.” 

More From Mrs Daaku Studio

Image Credits: Deposit Photos

He Took Care of His Daughter For Two Weeks While Wife Was Away. Says, “For all the work that I did, the one tiny mistake I made, and she slammed for after 2 weeks.” Is He Right? Read more to know what happened. 

He REFUSED To Let The Passenger In Front of Him To Recline Her Seat on a Flight. She Calls Him A Jerk. Is This Justified?

Tired blonde casual caucasian lady napping on uncomfortable seat while traveling by airplane. Commercial transportation by planes.
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

He refused to let the passenger in front of him recline the seat. She gets irritated, but we think she is the one who is wrong. You decide. Read here.  

She REFUSED To Pay Her Friend $7000 For Her Share of Trip To Italy. We Think She Did Right.

Image Credits: Deposit Photos.

She REFUSED To Pay Her Friend $7000 For Her Share of Trip To Italy. We Think She Did Right. Read here 

He Inherited His Brother’s Insurance & 401K. Refused To Share It With Brother’s Widow and Kids. Thinks He Is Right

Portrait of an annoyed woman
Image Credit; Deposit Photos

He Inherited His Brother’s Insurance & 401K. Refused To Share It With Brother’s Widow and Kids. Thinks He Is Right. Read more.  

He Took His friend’s Wallet By Mistake, and REFUSED To Return It When Asked. Thinks His Friend Is A Jerk, Not Him. Did He Go Too Far?

portrait of handsome young asian man dobting
Image Credit; Deposit Photos

He Took His Friends Wallet By Mistake, and REFUSED To Return It When Asked. Thinks His Friend Is A Jerk, Not Him. Did He Go Too Far?  Read here.

This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.

Similar Posts