Sometimes people need to remember what they should know and want to know. In one such incident, a boyfriend demanded to know the pen name of her girlfriend, and he thought he had a right to know!

A Redditor asked on a popular forumAm I wrong for demanding my girlfriend tells me her author’s pen name? Here is the full story:


The Original Poster (OP) is a 32-year-old man who has been dating 32-year-old Siobhan for 6 months. She had always been very vague about her profession. 

She made ambiguous statements about working from home and writing but never gave concrete details. Recently, one of her friends mentioned something, and OP finally dragged it out of her.

She was an author; she wrote and self-published romance and erotica stories and novels. Although not wealthy, she was able to support herself through her writing. OP googled her name and couldn’t find anything, so OP confronted her about that. OP demanded that she give him the pen name so he could see her work and understand what she does.

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What Happened Next?

She refused and said that she didn’t want it to be leaked, even by accident. OP accused Siobhan of not trusting him, but she still refused to give him her pen name, which was quite frustrating for him.

OP tried a more friendly approach and told her he wanted to know her fantasies to try that out with her. She told him that what she wrote were not her fantasies but those of her readers. Despite this, she remained firm in her decision to keep her pen name a secret from him.

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At night OP tried to check her laptop for her pen name, but she changed her password before bed. OP was annoyed and told her that she clearly didn’t trust him. He argued that he had a right to know her pen name, as it was necessary to truly understand who she was.

Siobhan was enraged when she discovered that OP had tried to check her laptop, and she told him to leave. As he went, he made it clear that he expected her to apologize for her behavior and provide him with her pen name. In response, Siobhan called him an “a..hole.”

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He had been waiting for Siobhan to call and apologize, but she had not reached out. His sister suggested that he was in the wrong and should apologize. Still, he remained unconvinced and sought a second opinion on the matter.

OP asks for your opinion on this. What would you do in this situation? Was OP right in demanding to know her pen name? Was it inappropriate for OP’s girlfriend to refuse to share that information?

Article originally appeared here.

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