Whatever the reason, going rampant at a couple who’s just given birth is not okay!

An internet user asked, “Am I a jerk for not sending photos of my newborn?”. We need you to find out!


Happy mother with newborn baby
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

The Original Poster (OP) gave birth to her first baby on October 10. When they got checked in at the hospital, OP and her husband told a few people, including OP’s parents. 


angry old woman
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

Her (OP’s) mom immediately responded, “Let us know if you change your mind and want us to come to the hospital!” Even though for weeks OP said she didn’t want anyone at the hospital. 

Then OP’s mom said she was packing and said, “We are coming, of course! But not to the hospital.” They assumed they could wait at OP’s house. OP asked them not to stay at OP’s home.


Young caucasian pregnant woman isolated on pink background screaming very angry and aggressive.
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

After 21 hours of labor and 3 hours of pushing, OP’s son was born, and they let OP’s parents know. Immediately, they were asking for photos. 

“I understand they are excited and already love him, but I felt they were being needy and not respecting that I was tired, talking to hospital staff, trying to learn to breastfeed, etc,” says OP. 


Image Credit: StoryTime Studio, Shutterstock

Once OP got moved to a recovery room, she and her husband talked and decided to hold off on sending pictures to anyone, including his favorite two people (his dad and grandmother), so it’s not like OP’s parents were singled out. 

“I can’t even explain why we don’t want to send pics of our son out right now. We both have some anxiety about sending a photo to someone and then it spreads like wildfire to unintended people, so we’ve just decided to hold off. Not forever, but for now. 

We’ve already talked about how excited we are to send our first Christmas cards this year! So this isn’t a forever thing,” says OP. 


Upset pregnant woman crying, problems, sad, depression woman.
Image Credit; Deposit Photos

Her (OP’s) parents lost their minds. She blew up both OP and her husband’s phones, stressing OP out to the point of tears.

“So my husband called my dad to ask them to stop, and my dad had the gall to hang up on my husband, and then my dad told me that he and my husband don’t need to speak or see each other again,” says OP. 


Image Credits: Deposit Photos.

When OP was discharged and sent home, she sent her parents three texts about them being home and asked to FaceTime them so they could see OP’s son via video since they weren’t doing photos. They ignored OP. 


Upset young pregnant woman crying and sitting on sofa at home
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

They finally FaceTimed yesterday, and OP’s mom told OP she had been sobbing all day and it was “torture” waiting for a photo. OP told her she made OP’s labor all about her and that no one asked OP and her husband what they wanted. It was all about what OP’s parents wanted.

“They said they don’t understand the photo thing. Everyone else in the world sends photos of new babies. I said I don’t care about the world.

I know how sending a photo seems like no big deal and our decision seems irrational, but you don’t have to understand it. You have to respect it. That didn’t go over well with them,” says OP. 


Tired of everyday household mother sitting on floor with hands on face. Kid playing in messy room. Scaterred toys and disorder. Happy parenting
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

“So tell me the truth, am I being dramatic? Am I the jerk? My mom said I probably cried in the recovery room, not because they stressed me out but because I was hormonal and tired. Be honest with me, are my husband and I drawing a hard line over something nonsensical?” asks OP. 


Young woman standing over isolated background angry and mad raising fists frustrated and furious while shouting with anger. rage and aggressive concept.
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

“Not the jerk. Take it from someone whose in-laws had a similarly hysterical reaction to boundaries around a newborn: now is the time for you and your husband to stand your ground and insist your parents respect your wishes; otherwise, they will act this way every time you don’t do things the way they want you to.” 


young pretty woman screaming in panic or anger, shocked, terrified or furious, with hands next to head
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“Not the jerk. I know many families who have chosen not to send pictures or severely limit their child’s online exposure. It’s your child; you can send or not as you see fit.” 


young adult pretty woman screaming in panic or anger, shocked, terrified or furious, with hands next to head
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

“Not the jerk. Were they annoyed while you guys were still in the hospital? You’re not dramatic. They are. You have no obligation to send photos of your child right away, let alone while you’re still in the hospital. They should’ve considered the life-changing event that happened to you guys.” 


emotion face. angry mad cross enraged woman. young beautiful blond girl portrait on white background.
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

“Not the jerk. It is normal, healthy, and appropriate to have boundaries in all your relationships. A jerk is someone who can not respect someone else’s boundaries. An evil manipulator shames people for their boundaries.”

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