Naming a kid should always be a mutual decision involving both parents.
An internet user asked, “Am I a jerk for refusing to let my wife name our kid something stupid?”. We need you to find out:
BACKSTORY
The Original Poster (OP) (25M) and his wife (23F) are having their first child together. She is nine months pregnant and could give birth anytime in the next couple of weeks.
“The only major fight we have had throughout her pregnancy happened a couple of days ago, and it was about what we were going to name our kid,” says OP.
THE FIGHT BEGINS
It all started when they found out the gender of the baby. They didn’t do a gender reveal and decided to find out the gender at one of her checkups because they didn’t want to spend time making two lists of names and then having to get rid of one afterward. So, after they found out they were having a boy, they sat down together and made a list.
“Almost all of the names she suggested were normal until the one that caused me to write this post. She suggested we name our son “Mune”. She told me the name was from this movie she watched when she was younger and that it always stuck with her”, says OP.
THE CLASH OF OPINIONS
OP told her the name was a little out there, and he would get criticized for it. She claimed he wouldn’t, and they started going back and forth, trying to decide whether to add the name to the list.
“Eventually, she agreed to keep the name off the list; we picked some that we liked, and I thought that was that,” says OP.
WHAT HAPPENED AT THE BABY SHOWER?
Later in her pregnancy, OP’s wife’s mom decided to throw a baby shower as it was her first grandchild, and OP’s wife’s pregnancy was almost over, and they had not celebrated once.
It was fine for the most part until they started to open the gifts. Most were everyday baby things like diapers and bottles until they reached OP’s wife’s mom’s estate.
“My wife opened the gift bag and pulled out a blue handmade blanket. It seemed normal enough at first until my wife unfolded it, and low and behold, there was the name Mune written on the blanket”, says OP.
WHEN OP SAW IT
When OP saw it, he was annoyed but didn’t want to create a scene, so he stayed quiet. After that reveal, OP had family members come up to OP and ask him about the name and why OP hadn’t told them.
“I didn’t know what to tell them as I didn’t have a clue about this either and just had to embarrassingly tell my family that, which annoyed me even more,” says OP.
ONCE THE EVENT ENDED
Once the event ended and OP and his wife went home, OP started questioning her about the name. She got defensive and told OP that it was a good name and that he was overreacting.
“I brought up the earlier points and told her it was a stupid name for a kid, and if she wanted to name something Mune so bad, she could use the name for a dog,” says OP.
WHAT NEXT?
His (OP’s) wife got upset and called her mom to get her. After she left, she called OP and told him she wouldn’t return for a while.
“Everyone I’ve talked to about this has said I’m not the jerk, but now that my wife has been gone and I’ve been thinking about it, I feel like I could have handled the situation better. Am I a jerk?” asks OP.
YOUR WIFE IS INCREDIBLY WRONG
“Not the jerk. Your wife is being pretty ridiculous about the name. That’s an awful name, and you’re right that the kid will be bullied for this. Your wife is incredibly wrong for deciding to name the child that name anyway, regardless of what you think. It’s just as much your child as it is hers.”
YOUR CONSENT MATTERS
“You both disagreed, but your wife proceeded as though you did, even going behind your back. Maybe it’s her pregnancy hormones, but she’s in the wrong here. Your kid will be called Moon Moon (or something along those lines) by his classmates. Kids are mean enough as it is. No need to give them more reason. Not the jerk.”
HER DISMISSAL IS THE REAL ISSUE HERE
“Not the jerk, but your wife sure is. In this instance, it doesn’t even matter what the actual name is. But you guys discussed it, disagreed, and then she went behind your back, made up her mind, and told other people her decision while completely dismissing you. That’s the real issue here. It needs to be addressed now because you just got a preview of her parenting style in the future.”
NOT THE JERK
“Not the jerk. The first rule is that both parents have to agree on the name, especially when you’re married. If your boyfriend, girlfriend, and you’re not together, that’s a whole other ball game, but you’re married.
Your kid’s going to be crucified. Why does your wife refuse to understand that that kid will be teased and tortured for being so different?
They’re probably going to be called Puny Mooney or something like that or they will say something like ‘Here comes Moon’ and ‘Moos like a cow.’ Kids are cruel, so they’ll devise inventive ways to torture your son if this name sticks. Good luck.”
NOT COOL AT ALL
“Not the jerk. It’s not cool that your wife blindsided you by publicly announcing the name at the party. It’s almost as if you had nothing to do with the baby! She must be more aware that the child is yours and hers. Therefore, you both have to agree on the name. Would she be open to using it as a nickname instead?”
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.