Teenage girls can be challenging, especially if their parents are not on the same page.

A netizen recently asked, “Am I a jerk for telling my daughter to go live with her stepmom?”. Here’s the whole story for you to conclude.


Closeup portrait of a funny redhead teenage girl with childish hairstyle smiling happily isolated on white backround.
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The Original Poster (OP) (36F) has a 13-year-old (soon to be 14) daughter, Danielle. 

“I’m divorced and co-parent with my ex-husband John (40M), who has a wife, Christina (32F),” says OP. 


Photo of unsatisfied angry lady wear bright clothes disappointed bad behavior results isolated on purple color background.
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Danielle tells OP that Christina is more outgoing and less strict than OP, which, honestly, she doesn’t mind. Still, Danielle soon began getting long acrylics, wearing revealing stuff, and wearing a full face of makeup, including lashes.


teen daughter
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OP tried talking to Danielle about it, but she just ignored OP. Last week, Danielle asked if she could get lash extensions. 

“I told her no because she was too young, and it could destroy her eyes,” says OP. 


Portrait of angry young teen woman
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Danielle threw a fit and told OP about how Christina would let her. OP snapped at her and told her if she didn’t want to follow OP’s rules under OP’s roof, she could go and live with her dad. 


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“She immediately goes to her room and slams the door shut. She hasn’t spoken to me since. So am I a jerk?” asks OP. 


Argument between mother and daughter, whereas the mother is talking to her ignoring and stubborn looking daughter who turned her back on her
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“Not the jerk. You are her mother, and it is up to you to set the boundaries. She is pitting you against her stepmother, which all kids do. Give her time. She will get over it eventually. She is young.”


young pretty woman looking puzzled, confused and stressed, wondering between different options, feeling uncertain
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“Not the jerk. Unlike Christina, who is trying to be a ‘buddy’ and friend, you are trying to be an actual parent. This is a horrible age, but you’re doing your best.” 


Couple having a heated discussion
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“You need to talk with your ex about rules and what is unacceptable. Remember, it’s not all you deem acceptable; he is still her father. Not the jerk.”


Caucasian mother and preteen daughter arguing while setting on bed an master bedroom
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“I understand you’re frustrated, but you need to think of her as a toddler in an adult-sized body. She is insecure, and the last thing she needs is to feel like her mom wants to get rid of her. 

But that doesn’t mean she shouldn’t have boundaries. Just explain why she can’t do whatever she’s asking and leave emotion out of it. Plus, where it’s possible, let her win sometimes. Teens are tricky.” 


Young woman portrait over grey background
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“She’s still a child, and you’re the mom. Saying hurtful things even though she did will create a further rift. Take a step back when you’re feeling triggered and then reacting. Stay firm with your words.”


puzzled beautiful fair-haired woman shrugs shoulders with open palms. she cannot find the sloution of problem,puzzlement. feeling and emotion
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“You’re the jerk. You handled this poorly. Parenting can be frustrating, but you’re the adult here. It would help if you acted like it. You told her that you don’t care enough to take the time to explain to her why you have different rules, and instead, you’d rather dump her on her dad if she won’t listen. 

Maybe sit her down and explain that makeup is okay (which it should be; it’s a form of self-expression), but lash extensions can damage her eyes and even cause her real lashes to fall out in clumps, and that you have rules because you care about her. Her stepmom doesn’t because she cares more about your daughter liking her than your daughter’s well-being.” 


The woman covered her mouth with her hands and turned away from the surprised man. High quality photo
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“Not the jerk. Teenage girls are complete demons. But it’s time you chatted with her dad about age-appropriate boundaries. 13-14 is too young to get fake lashes and wear a face full of makeup. Her skin is all lovely and unclogged, and it could cause her some severe skin issues. You and dad need to be on the same page.”

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Adult hispanic catholic priest man over isolated background clueless and confused expression with arms and hands raised. Doubt concept.
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This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.

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