Poverty is a serious issue, and many people go to bed hungry each night. Food donations and food banks are organized to provide food to those in need. However, some people who have never faced food scarcity visit food banks to get free food.
The Original Poster (OP) took it to the forum, and asked “Am I wrong for leaving my husband at home, while I spend the week at my brother’s because of how he “buys” groceries?”. We want to know from you.
BACKSTORY
The OP and her husband have been in a committed relationship for over 17 years, and things are pretty great between them.
HOUSEHOLD INCOME
OP and her husband have a net household income of $200k. The bulk of their income is made by her husband. OP works as a part-time teacher while also attending university.
THE ISSUE
The main issue here is OP’s husband’s frugality. He is very controlling when it comes to how OP spends her money, and he also likes to have a final say on how he will spend his money.
HIS NATURE
OP’s husband has a tendency to visit the food banks nearby, to get free food, even though he is quite well off!
OP’S REACTION
OP has a major issue with this because she feels it is unfair to the people who actually can’t afford to buy stuff from the grocery store.
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
OP tried to make her husband understand by showing him social media posts and people’s comments.
She tried to make him understand that this food belongs to the underprivileged people and that he should not deprive them of getting food from these places.
HIS REACTION
No matter how many times OP tried to make her husband understand, he remained indifferent and adamant.
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
OP found their fridge filled with fresh produce and meat, which they clearly did not buy from a regular grocery store.
OP went to confront her husband and got to know that he had visited a food bank once again.
NO SIGNS OF REMORSE
After her husband confessed about what he did, OP showed him the comments on that social media post where people were already asking if there was any food left!
Even after being shown all these, OP’s husband showed no signs of remorse.
WHAT DID OP DO?
OP didn’t like his attitude and was not able to come to terms with it. She decided to go to her brother’s place because she wanted to spend the rest of the week without being angry at her husband.
THE BACKLASH
After this, OP’s husband accused her of overreacting and so did her in-laws.
Her husband said that he would continue doing what he does irrespective of what OP does, and her in-laws asked her to respect his choices.
They also started texting her brother!
WHAT DO PEOPLE THINK?
“Some rich people would do this not out of a poverty or trauma mindset but out of a wealth-hoarding mindset. They don’t tip at restaurants, and they always want a bargain.
They see their frugality as the virtue that brings them wealth and often perceive poor people as wasteful (and therefore deserving of their poverty).
If his family is like this, too, they probably think taking from a food pantry is resourceful in an Ayn Randian way where self-interest is the only rational way to live.”, said one user.
It Is Stealing
“It very likely could be stealing. Most food banks make you sign a paper stating you make under a certain amount to be eligible to use the service, indicating you are in need.
If he is providing a false income statement to them in order to be allowed to get food he is stealing and could, rightly, be in legal trouble for it.
If I was OP I would be thinking about calling in a tip to the food bank. Hopefully, they will just not allow him to get food in the future, but if they look to press charges he has earned them.”, said another user.
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.