It is very selfish to get a favor from a person but not invite them to the wedding. He was upset and so he took away the shawl.
A user asked the forum, “Am I a jerk for taking back a shawl my wife made for a bride-to-be after she was uninvited from the wedding?”. Read the complete story to know who is wrong here.
The Original Poster’s (OP) wife, Lena, crochets often and gifts it to friends and family. When his wife’s 2nd oldest brother married, his wife made the bride a shawl to wear over her dress in the evening.
The bride loved it, and ever since, Lena has made shawls for everyone in her family getting married.
WHAT’S THE SCENARIO NOW?
Lena’s oldest brother, George, is getting married again. Lena doesn’t have a relationship with George, as he was abusive to her as a child, but if she has to see him, she is polite but distant.
WHAT DOES LENA ENCOURAGE?
She doesn’t want to cut off the rest of her family because of George.
OP works with George, and while they aren’t friends, they are friendly at work – Lena encouraged this; when George got moved to OP’s team, he was going to request a transfer, not wanting to expose Lena to George as his team do a lot of get-together with their significant others.
WHAT WAS LENA’S MOM’S REQUEST?
As it is a family wedding, Lena’s mom asks her if she could crochet a shawl for George’s fiancee, and Lena agrees. It was arranged that once it was finished, OP would take it to work to give to George so that Lena didn’t have to see George.
Earlier that week, the shawl was completed, and he emailed George at work to let him know that he would bring it in today as the wedding is tomorrow.
HE GAVE THE SHAWL
When OP got to work this morning, he gave George the shawl and told him that he and Lena were looking forward to the wedding.
Then it was at lunchtime, Lena called him to let him know that George’s fiancee had called her and told her that she was no longer invited to the wedding, citing the place they were having the wedding and the reception venue was too small for the number they had coming. So, they are having to make cutbacks.
HOW DID OP FEEL?
However, OP was still invited to the wedding. He was mad because they only invited Lena to get a shawl, which to him is just rude.
He says that if they had asked Lena outright to make one, she probably would have done it because she loves to crochet.
WHAT DID OP DO?
On his way out of work, he noticed George wasn’t at his desk, but the shawl was.
He says that he was still mad that they had used Lena to get a shawl, and he just shoved it in his work bag.
WHAT DID OP SAY?
He left a note on his desk telling George since Lena was no longer invited, the shawl and he would no longer be attending either.
WHAT DID LENA SAY?
On his way home, he told Lena what he had done and asked her if she wanted to go out instead so as not to waste having a sitter. Lena was upset that he had taken the shawl as it was causing an uproar in her family group chat, where people were calling her petty because he took it back.
WHAT WAS LENA’S RESPONSE TO HIS BEHAVIOR?
Lena wants him to give it back. He doesn’t think he should; they don’t deserve Lena’s kindness. However, at the same time, he doesn’t want Lena to be upset with him over George and a shawl.
OP asks if he is a jerk for taking back the shawl.
He says that he has messaged the group chat, letting them know that he took it and that if they should be angry at anyone, then it should be him, but he would also do it again because no one gets to be a jerk to Lena.
IT IS EXTREMELY RUDE
“I would have taken it back. It was extremely rude to un-invite your wife but still “allow” you to come. There is no point in giving the shawl back now. What’s done is done.”
LENA NEEDS TO STAND FOR HERSELF
“Lena needs to stand up for herself and not be a darn doormat for her family. If they think it’s fine that Lena gets uninvited but think Lena is petty for you taking the shawl back, then why on earth is there still any contact with them?”
YOUR WIFE NEEDS TO LEARN
“Your wife needs to learn how to have a backbone. She’s being used for her UNPAID skills and mistreated at the same time.”
More From Mrs Daaku Studio
Thrift stores and goodwill stores are great, but there are many weird instances of people finding things. Read – Goodwill Workers Share 16 “Weirdest” Things They’ve Ever Found, It’s Hilarious!
She Demands Her Sister Stop Wearing Silk Nightgowns. Says It’s Inappropriate. Should She Just Stop Wearing Them?
Sisters can be difficult sometimes, and here is one case for you to judge. Read – She Demands Her Sister Stop Wearing Silk Nightgowns. Says, “It’s Inappropriate.” Should She Just Stop Wearing Them?
Father Corrects Teacher’s Pronunciation of Daughter’s Name, School Accuses Him of Questioning Authority
Schools can act arbitrarily sometimes, and here is a case. Read how this Father Corrects the Teacher’s Pronunciation of Daughter’s Name, School Accuses Him of ‘Questioning Authority’. Does This Make Sense?
He Inherited His Brother’s Insurance and 401K, Refused To Share It With Brother’s Widow and Kids. Thinks He Is Right
He Inherited His Brother’s Insurance and; 401K. Refused To Share It With Brother’s Widow and Kids. Thinks He Is Right.Read more.
Woman Cancels Credit Card After Boyfriend REFUSES to Return It, Is This Financial Abuse?
Woman Cancels Credit Card After Boyfriend REFUSES to Return It. Is This Financial Abuse? We think it is, but we need to hear from you. Read here.This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.