An internet user asked, “Am I a jerk for telling my sister-in-law that she didn’t actually run a marathon?”.
As harsh as the truth might sound, you cannot deny that it happens to be the only right way to deal with people being oblivious about it. Here’s the full story for you to conclude.
Backstory
The Original Poster (OP) has been a runner for as long as he can remember, he absolutely loves it.
OP wants running to continue growing as a competitive activity and as a just-for-fun hobby. OP encourages and supports newcomers to running, but recently he encountered a situation where he felt gate-keeping was necessary.
OP’s SIL Got Into Running
OP’s sister-in-law got into running last year, and she absolutely fell in love with it as well. Since OP is also a runner, he decided he could connect with her on the topic.
OP Wanted To Hear About Her Runs
OP wanted to hear about her runs, and her progress, and maybe offer some helpful guidance if she wanted it. So, at a family gathering, OP asked her about running.
When The ‘Marathon’ Came Into the Picture
After a bit of conversation, she mentioned to OP that she ran a marathon. OP was quite surprised, she ran a marathon after only getting into running a year ago.
That is amazing, what incredible dedication and drive (OP thought to himself).
OP was about to praise her for this incredible accomplishment, but then she explained this ‘marathon’ in detail.
The Truth About The Marathon
It was a virtual marathon that OP’s SIL started late last year and apparently completed this year. It was an app-based event where you tally up your running distances until you reach 42.2km (26.2 miles).
OP Chuckled
OP chuckled slightly and told her that it’s great she totaled 42.2km in that time frame, but it doesn’t count as a marathon.
What Did OP Tell Her?
OP told her that marathons have time limits for completion, usually 6 to 8 hours. If they didn’t, he could claim multiple ultra-marathons via the aggregate distances he ran in his life.
“It’s disingenuous and, in my opinion, undermines those who have actually run a marathon.”, said OP.
OP’s SIL Got Furious
OP’s SIL didn’t take this well, she called OP a jerk, a bully, an elitist, and a few other things. OP apologized for upsetting her, but he stood by what he said, she didn’t run a marathon.
OP didn’t press the subject at all and left it at that, she wouldn’t speak to OP the rest of the gathering.
Everybody Else’s Thoughts
OP’s wife agrees with him; despite not being a runner herself, she said her sister overreacted. Their mother said that OP should have just let his sister-in-law believe that she ran a marathon.
“Maybe, I don’t know….she is 23 years old, without any impairments. Validating her ‘marathon’ would feel similar to lying to a child to boost their confidence. The difference is, she is not a child. Am I the jerk?”, asks OP
You Ain’t The Jerk
“Not the jerk. She didn’t run a marathon. According to apple health, over the past 26 weeks, I’ve averaged 5.1 miles a day. Does that mean I’m walking a marathon every 6 days? Of course not. That’s ridiculous.”
Calling This A Marathon Would Be A Crime
“Not the jerk. Saying ‘I ran a marathon’ implies that you completed the whole distance on the same day – not that you did a mile a day on an installment plan.
Otherwise, I climb Mount Everest every year on my stairs.”
Your Gatekeeping Did What Exactly?
“This isn’t about being factually right or wrong, it’s about if you were a jerk or not. Your verbiage paints kind of a specific negative wojak picture. You were a jerk here.
You couldn’t just be like ‘Oh a virtual marathon, I’ve heard of those, they have those really wild pendants you can get if you do them right? Have you thought about doing a marathon all at once?’
Your gatekeeping did…..what, exactly? What gain did anyone get from this?”
I Don’t See Anything Wrong
“I’m a bit confused about people’s judgments here, but personally I’m gonna say that you’re not the jerk, OP.
Yeah, it was wrong to laugh, but you did apologize for hurting her feelings afterwards. At the end of the day, you just explained what an actual marathon was to her, and she overreacted.
As you said, validating what she thought of as a marathon is like lying to a child to boost their confidence.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.