Step-child relationships can be delicate. Even the smallest misstep can alienate a child who is already feeling insecure and uncertain.
A Redditor asked, Am I wrong for thinking my stepdaughter would be fine on the couch for a couple of days?
Backstory
The Original Poster (OP) has three kids (10f, 8m, 7m) from a previous marriage, and his wife has one (12f).
They’ve been married for six months, and all the kids have had trouble adjusting. OP’s daughter doesn’t like not being the oldest/only daughter, my stepdaughter can be possessive over her mom, and neither of them is excellent at sharing.
What Happened Next?
They just took their first vacation with OP, OP’s wife, the kids, and OP’s wife’s sister (23), who lives with us and helps with the kids.
The room arrangements were OP and OP’s wife in the master, OP’s SIL in the 2nd bedroom with a double bed, OP’s daughter and stepdaughter in a room with two twin beds, and OP’s sons in a room with a double bed.
They Got The Rental Pretty Late
We got to the rental pretty late the first night, and everyone went to bed with no problems. The second night OP’s wife and OP went out, and OP’s SIL told OP that his stepdaughter was sleeping in her room because she and OP’s daughter argued.
Read: 18 Things You Never Realized the Pandemic Has Completely Ruined
What Happened On The Third Night?
The third night OP’s stepdaughter came to him and said that his daughter kicked her out of their room.
OP says, “I went to talk to my daughter, and she said she hated sharing a room and wanted my stepdaughter gone. I know it sounds mean, but she’s never had to share a room before, and she’s still adjusting.
I told my stepdaughter that my daughter needed her space to sleep on the couch or see if she could sleep with her aunt again.”
What Happened When Wife Found Out?
She started to cry and went to her aunt.
OP’s SIL told OP’s wife what happened, and the wife yelled at him for kicking her stepdaughter out of the room and said that his daughter should’ve had to leave if she had the problem, but her daughter’s used to have her room and bed.
What Does OP Say
OP says, “My stepdaughter shared a pull-out couch with my wife for five years before they moved in with me. I thought she wouldn’t mind since she’s so used to sharing beds/sleeping on the couch.”
OP’s wife started yelling at him for favoring his daughter, and she and his SIL left early with his stepdaughter.
What OP Wants To Know?
They’ve all ignored OP and his kids since they got back, and although they never mentioned anything about leaving, OP thinks they might be planning on leaving.
OP’s SIL has been taking extra babysitting jobs, and his wife started doing random odd jobs for cash. He starts to think he screwed up here but wants to know if he were a jerk for thinking she’d be fine on the couch for a few days.
Here is what others have to say:
Your Daughter Could Have Shared
“They both had a bed. A room with two beds. Your daughter could share a room since there were two beds. You are a jerk OP”
Read: 21 Things You’re Saying That Make People Dislike You “Instantly”: Guilty of Any?
You Are Insane
“My wife was homeless before she met me. I figured her daughter would be fine sleeping outside for couple of nights. I’m sure she would be fine outside. She’s used to it!”
He Is Differentiating
“It isn’t a question of where the girl sleeps. Not really. It’s a question of equity and fairness of treatment among children.
If both girls were sleeping on a pull-out, that’s fine. If the girls take turns sleeping on the pull-out, that’s fine. But OP gave his daughter both the bedroom and the right to evict the stepdaughter from a place that was equal for her.
And he didn’t even bother to handle the situation. He effectively told his 12-year-old stepdaughter that she had to deal with her stepsister’s rejection and find her place to sleep somewhere. “Don’t inconvenience my daughter, and just figure something out for yourself without burdening me,” was his message.
The stepdaughter is used to being the only child, suddenly has three younger stepsiblings, and yet she is the one who must yield and fend for herself when the other girl gets territorial. OP has not attempted to understand how that poor 12-year-old feels like a second-class citizen who has been demoted to being a remnant of her mother’s past life and less critical than her stepsiblings.
And he’s shocked to get the inkling that he has perhaps somehow ruffled some feathers. He suspects that he might have erred because they want nothing to do with him and appear to be making an exit plan.
I’d wager that this incident is just the straw that broke the camel’s back, and he never once noticed the ever-increasing pile of straw accumulating on the came.”
You Should Have Found A Stay With Enough Rooms
“If it was that much of an issue, they should have found a place with an appropriate room constellation in the first place. some people want to make issues where there aren’t any. You are a jerk OP. at least if your wife leaves, your daughter won’t have to share a room ever again”
More From Mrs Daaku Studio:
Strange but True: 10 European Habits That Leave Americans Scratching Their Heads.
We wanted to know what are the European traits that Americans find strange.
10 European Habits That Leave Americans Scratching Their Heads
10 Endangered Jobs That May NOT Be Around Much Longer
Some professions are becoming obsolete as technology, and societal shifts continue to shape the workforce. We bave listed some jobs that don’t see the light in the coming years.
10 Endangered Jobs That May Not Be Around Much Longer
Kill It: 10 Frugal Things That You’re Doing, But Aren’t Worth it ANYMORE!
While being frugal is a wise financial practice, not all frugal habits appeal to everyone. Some may find certain practices tedious, uncomfortable, or just not worth it anymore.
Kill It Now: 10 Frugal Things That You’re Doing, But Aren’t Worth It Anymore
11 Most Hated or Useless Jobs That People Wish They Could Eliminate From Society
The modern job market is diverse, and each profession has a unique value. However, specific jobs may be considered useless, providing little benefit to society.
11 Most Hated or Useless Jobs That People Wish They Could Eliminate from Society
Don’t Get Duped: 10 Biggest Rip-Offs That You Are Continously Buying
As consumers, we often fall prey to clever marketing tactics and gimmicks that convince us to buy overpriced products or services that don’t live up to expectations.
Don’t Get Duped: 10 Biggest Rip-offs That You Are Continuously Buying
This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.