Nobody has the right to dictate other people’s eating habits. Even if it’s for an environmental cause, it has to be an individual choice!

A netizen recently asked, “Am I a jerk for giving my son non-vegan food behind my wife’s back?”. Let us know what you think in the comments section!


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The Original Poster (OP) is a 32-year-old male and his wife is 33 years old female. They have been married for 8 years and have a 12-year-old son together.

The Decision To Go Vegan

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About six years ago, OP’s wife decided to go vegan. She was sent the documentary Dominion by a vegan friend of hers and ever since, has said non-vegan food is “revolting” and refuses to eat it.

After a long conversation, OP agreed to go vegetarian and be vegan in the house and around her, which she was happy with. She also decided their son should be vegan, which after seeing a dietician, OP also agreed with.

A Few Months Ago

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Things were fine with this arrangement until a few months ago when OP began finding wrappers from non-vegan candy and even burgers from McDonald’s in their son’s school bag which he had been buying with chore money.

OP’s Conversation With His Son

Caucasian mother and preteen daughter arguing while setting on bed an master bedroom
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OP had a conversation with his son and the kid confessed he felt lonely and excluded from eating vegan around his friends and that they always had much better candy than he did and it wasn’t fair.

What Did OP Decide?

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OP decided he didn’t want their son spending his pocket money on snacks and throwing out the vegan snacks they actually brought him instead of buying games etc.

“It made no sense, but I also know the way my wife feels about non-vegan products. So, I began buying my son what he wanted on our way to football practice instead.”, says OP.

Long Story Short

Wrong behaviour. Aggressive angty mother and father screaming on a kid while being in a room
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Long story short, OP’s wife recently found out what has been going on and completely flipped out. She called OP an animal abuse enabler and a few other names and said he was corrupting their son.

Now What?

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“Now, she is not speaking to me, our son panicked and told her I had bought the snacks for him and he didn’t know they weren’t vegan (I don’t blame him for that, he just doesn’t want to be in trouble with mom). Am I a jerk here?”, asks OP.

It Has To Be A Choice!

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“Not the jerk – Going vegan is a choice. She did not give you or your son a choice about your dietary preferences. Of course, your kid will go behind her back. I would too. It’s really not her decision. I’m surprised you aren’t sneaking off with your son for burgers.”

Your Son Is Old Enough To Decide

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“Not the jerk – Your son is old enough to choose his own dietary choices. It’s not right for your wife to make your son conform to her beliefs. It’s fine if she wants to be vegan, but she shouldn’t force it on others.”

You Should’ve Brought It Up Then & There

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“Everyone’s in the wrong. Kids should not have veganism forced on them. Did your son ever get a say? A conversation? You should’ve talked to your wife after you found the wrappers, and you both should’ve had a conversation with your son together.”

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