Getting inspired by watching TV shows is one thing, and deciding to make a move based on them is another. A Redditor asked on a popular forum forum, Am I wrong for not letting my wife go to medical school?
The Original Poster (OP) is a 35-year-old with a 34-year-old wife who stays home to care for their two children. OP was a relatively wealthy software engineer and had been trying to be financially responsible for saving money for retirement and his children’s college.
After getting into a few medical TV shows, OP’s wife was obsessed with being a doctor. She tried convincing OP to pay for her applications to multiple medical schools.
OP thought that that was a stupid decision because his wife was out of her communications degree for eleven years then and had not even taken the MCAT or anything like that. And if, by some slim chance, she got into medical school, her tuition would wreck their finances and would cause all sorts of problems with childcare.
What Did OP Suggest?
OP told her he would support her taking a smaller step into the medical field by becoming a CNA or nurse first because it was a better and more realistic approach for her to get that position and then advance to medical school.
Also, OP never forced her to stay at home and do childcare. OP does a third of the housework on top of his job, and she asked to stay home since they married. She recently changed her mind.
OP understood her concern. OP didn’t overly restrict her spending, and any financial rule they created was imposed on them. All large-scale financial decisions, over $1000, were approved by both of them. They both could buy necessities and anything they wanted underneath $1000 occasionally.
Since her 50 applications exceeded $1000, they both needed approval, and OP disagreed.
What Did OP’s Wife Do?
Also, OP’s wife refused to take the MCAT despite his encouragement to do so first because she thought studying for it would slow down her timeline. She insisted that she wanted to maximize her chance by applying to at least 50. She also didn’t like OP’s compromise of trying another medical career first, like nursing.
OP tried explaining to her that the decision wasn’t realistic and suggested that she try to do some other training, like being a CNA, to get a taste of the medical field first. Still, she got mad at OP and said he was stealing her career aspirations.
OP asks, “Am I wrong??”
Was OP correct to refuse applications to 50 schools and suggest nursing school? Was it inappropriate for OP’s wife to refuse MCAT and be adamant on med school? How would you have reacted in this situation? What would be the solution?