We love to do things for our families, but where do we draw the line? What if people start to take you for granted?
A Redditor asked on a popular forum, Am I wrong for choosing to go on a trip with my girlfriend instead of taking care of my struggling brother’s son?
The Original Poster (OP) is a 24-year-old man. OP’s 31-year-old brother “Luke,” his 28-year-old wife “Emma,” and their 4-month-old son “Kyle” moved to OP’s city last year because Emma got a new job. They would occasionally ask OP to watch Kyle because OP used to work from home with flexible hours.
OP does not like kids at all, but he was happy to do that at the time because he wanted to help them; it was not that often, maybe once or twice every 2 weeks, and Kyle was well-behaved.
What Started Happening?
The issue started near the end of last year when Luke decided to change careers. His new job required him to go to work a lot more often, and he made substantially less money. This left them depending on OP more to take care of Kyle.
It went from once or twice every 2 weeks to around 3 days out of the week. To make matters worse, Kyle’s behavior changed drastically. OP couldn’t stand the kid anymore. The kid was constantly running around and screaming while OP was trying to work.
Emma was over the other day picking up Kyle and made some comments about getting rid of some of the “dangerous” furniture in OP’s house, like tables with glass edges and stuff, so that his home would be safer for their son and made a joke about baby proofing his house because they were planning to have a daughter. That pissed off OP, but he didn’t say anything.
What Triggered OP?
The situation hit a breaking point last Friday when OP talked about the 1.5-week-long trip he was going on with his girlfriend. OP and his girlfriend loved traveling.
Upon hearing that, Emma and Luke got mad and asked who was gonna take care of Kyle and that OP needed to stop those “childish trips.” They added that OP should take more responsibility because he has become an uncle. After hearing that, OP snapped and said that their demon child was not his responsibility and that he was not just gonna give up his life because of their child.
It got pretty obscene from there, and some horrible things were said. They left, and they were no longer on speaking terms. OP’s parents and Emma’s parents were on Emma’s side and extremely angry at OP for “refusing to pull his weight.” OP’s parents said that that was his (OP’s) duty and that he should sacrifice everything to help them.
It got OP really down, and he cried his eyes every day after seeing those messages from his family. OP started wondering if he really should be taking more responsibility.
OP asks, “Am I wrong for choosing my trips over my brother and nephew?”
Do you agree with him? Was it inappropriate for OP’s family to assume it was his responsibility to take care of the child? Was OP right in prioritising his relationship and travel over taking care of the kid? What would you do in this situation?
Article originally appeared here.