Believe it or not, to this date, some people in the world are obsessed with stupid things like their race, appearance, and surnames!

A netizen asked, “Am I a jerk for laughing at my boyfriend’s mother when she said I couldn’t use their ‘noble name’ when I get divorced?”. 

We need you to find out. 


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“I don’t know how to explain this, but my boyfriend of four years has a ‘noble’ surname, and apparently, the same laws don’t apply to having certain noble names.”, says the Original Poster (OP).

If you marry into a noble family, you get that surname, but you can’t pass it down to your own family if you get divorced. OP had no idea, and she doesn’t care since she comes from a culture where women don’t take their husbands’ surnames. 


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OP’s boyfriend’s mother never really liked OP, and the mother always mentioned that OP is not one of them.

When confronted, she makes it about OP not being married yet. “Now my boyfriend and I are talking about marriage. She is in a full panic mood.”, says OP. 


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OP and her boyfriend were invited to dinner with the rest of the family, and people were happy about the news that they were talking about getting married (OP thinks her boyfriend has got the ring, to be honest, and is waiting for the right moment). 

OP’s boyfriend’s mother was rabid and restless, going back and forth trying to listen in, then she yelled, “OP couldn’t keep the name and give it to her children when they get divorced because it is a noble name.” 


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Everyone was silent, and OP burst out laughing. She told her (boyfriend’s mother) that she couldn’t care less about nobility since this is not “Downton Abbey” and that she wasn’t even sure she wanted to change her surname when they married. 


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OP’s boyfriend’s mother was shaking with anger and said that OP would be honored to even get the name. OP said, “Let’s agree to disagree there. I would be honored to be my boyfriend’s wife and nothing more.” 

Many laughed at OP’s comments, especially the Downton Abbey one. Her boyfriend’s mother wasn’t pleased with the laughing.


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Later, her boyfriend told OP she was the jerk for laughing at his mom and that she should have taken the high ground. 

“I don’t think that I was the jerk; she was ridiculous, and honestly, she is the jerk for talking about divorce before I even married my boyfriend.”, says OP. 

Is OP a jerk?


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“Not the jerk. That was too ridiculous not to laugh at. But your boyfriend must start defending you from his stupid mom before becoming your fiance, or the marriage won’t work. He can’t leave you on the front lines to be attacked by his mother like that.” 


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“Not the jerk, but be very careful as your boyfriend’s response wouldn’t be a total red flag, but I’d call it a pink one if you get my drift. The last thing you must do is marry a mama’s boy with mommy issues.” 


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“You shouldn’t marry a man who doesn’t have your back 100%, especially when the person being rude to you is his mother. You shouldn’t have had to stand up for yourself because your boyfriend should have shut it down immediately. Nevertheless, you handled it with grace and class. Your boyfriend needs a reality check. Not the jerk.”


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“Not the jerk, but you have a bigger problem. Your boyfriend is more concerned about not rocking the boat than shutting his mom down. You need to get that figured out before putting a ring on it. Otherwise, this marriage is doomed. That women will get worse, not better.” 


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“Not the jerk, but please reconsider this marriage. Your boyfriend watched his mother abuse you, didn’t defend you, and then chastised you for handling her abuse yourself. If you marry him, you will be unhappy.” 


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“Not the jerk. She tried to belittle you publicly, and you rightfully put her in check. She’s the type of person who thinks she’s better than other people because of her name! She’s a clown; your future husband should’ve had your back 100%.”

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