Frequently, it’s suggested that a child’s natural inclination is to seek their mother’s comfort when they’re frightened or in need. But does this imply that fathers should be prevented from attending to their children and providing assistance when they cry out?
A netizen recently asked, Am I a jerk as a father for coming to my child when she is calling for her mother in the middle of the night? Read on to know the entire context of what happened.
The Original Poster (OP) and his wife were asleep in their bedroom. Their daughter (3) screamed “Mommy” in the middle of the night in her room.
OP Ran Over Fast
OP ran over as fast as he could to see what was wrong and to prevent their other daughter (1) from waking up from the noise.
What Happened Next?
OP and his wife had a big fight, and her standpoint was that only she is allowed to go to their daughter when she calls for mommy. Especially because she is at home with the kids right now, and OP has to work.
He Thinks He Is Right
OP’s standpoint is that he has a right to know what is wrong with his daughter and try to help her, even if her first reaction is to call mommy.
“Am I a jerk?” OP asks.
Some More Info
OP later edited the post and added,
“I should clarify that my wife woke up as well and would have gone over right away. But of course, I was worried as well.”
Your Status As Parents Is Equal
“You’re a parent as a team. Your status as parents is equal. A fast response to your child’s distress is the most important thing.
Your wife is the jerk. It sounds like she is self-centered and putting her needs above the child. Did she turn this into a big fight? That’s irrational and troubling. She needs anger management and parenting classes.”
So Strange And Controlling
“OMG, I would have been THRILLED if my husband would have taken a turn or two back in the days of midnight wake-ups. She wants less sleep? So strange and controlling. You’re not the jerk.”
Have A Serious Discussion With Your Wife ASAP
“Wow, a case of the mother wanting the father to be more distant from his kids? Plenty of wives out there would gladly accept an attitude swap between their other halves and you, my dude.
Not a jerk. As a (very) grown man, if I call out “mommy” in my sleep, I’m definitely happy if my fiance is the one that checks if I’m alright!
Maybe have a chat with your wife and get to the bottom of why she actually wants to be the one who gets up in the middle of the night. Is she worried that she’s not bonding? Does she think you’re overly doting, and spoiling the child? Do you get angry when tired, or are you in danger of losing your job because of lack of focus?”
Those Are A Child’s Default Settings!
“Sometimes a child defaults to yelling for mommy, but it is perfectly fine for daddy to show up when called for.” Said one
Mommy Is Just Baby’s SOS
“I was a baby once and I can confirm that “mommy” is actually just baby SOS.” Another added.
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