People do lie sometimes. But sometimes, they do it so horribly that instead of getting mad, your natural reflex action is to laugh it off!

An internet user asked, “Am I a jerk for laughing at my ex and her husband for asking to have our daughter for another month?”. Let us know what you think in the comments section!


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For some context, the Original Poster (OP) (46M) was married to his ex-wife Ida (46F) for 21 years before she cheated and remarried to her now jerk husband Dan (48M). 

“We have 4 kids together – Henry(28M), Zach(26M), Cam(25M) and Rory

(15F). This situation only really involves Rory.”, says OP. 


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Since OP’s boys were teens/young adults when he and his ex-wife divorced, they had to choose who they wanted to live with. Rory, on the other hand, didn’t. OP has Rory most of the time. He pays for her schooling, medical, extracurriculars, and more. 


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Ida and Dan get her every other Holiday and don’t pay for stuff.

Well, for the 4th of July, Rory went to Ida and Dan’s place and stayed there about a week before school started. Rory confided in OP that she couldn’t do anything fun the whole time she was there and was stuck watching her younger siblings while Dan and Ida went out.


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Rory told OP she felt like a babysitter more than a daughter, which hurt OP’s heart for Rory since she was really excited to see her mother. She also told OP she’d like to stick with visits again and not stay for a whole month or two.


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Well, about two nights ago, OP got a call from Ida. She seemed happy and started talking about Rory and how she (Rory) liked it there. She continued to ramble a bit before asking for OP to ask Rory about staying another month. 


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“I laughed, which caused Ida to be mad, and she hung up. Dan texted me, calling me an idiot for laughing at her, and my brother said it was mean to do. Am I a jerk?” asks OP. 


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“Not the jerk. When someone says something laughably ridiculous, you laugh. It was a natural reaction, and I don’t blame you. 

If I had to guess, your ex-wife probably believed that since she and Rory probably don’t get along nor have the same relationship you and Rory have, she assumed Rory didn’t tell you anything about being their babysitter. Oh well. Looks like your ex-wife hasn’t given up her penchant for lying.” 


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“Not the jerk. Protect your daughter if she feels that she doesn’t want to go there anymore or wants to restrict her visits because her mother’s actions support her in this. You are doing the right thing by standing by your child; that is all you need to do.”


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“Not the jerk. Your daughter is 15 and can choose who she wants to live with. Request the judge to change custody and make a request for her mother to pay her share of her daughter’s expenses.”


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“Not the jerk. Your ex-wife doesn’t want your daughter to stay to spend more time together. She wants her to stay to extend the free babysitting service. Time for your daughter to come home and for your ex-wife to start paying a babysitter if she wants to go out.”


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“Not the jerk. Laughing can be an uncontrollable reaction to a horrible lie. Tell Dan that if his wife continues to make hilariously bad attempts to lie for a free, live-in nanny, you will continue to laugh at it.”


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“Not the jerk. You laughed because you knew why your ex-wife was calling: free babysitting, and as far as you’re concerned, they are just a big joke. I’d be laughing all the way to the house to pick up my daughter.” 

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