Bidets are often associated with washing one’s bottom after using the toilet, but they can also be used to wash hands and feet. In fact, this is a common practice in many parts of the world.

An internet user asked, Am I a jerk for not telling strangers that I wash my behind? Here’s the full story for you to decide. 


public bathroom
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

OP (30F) comes from a country where it is customary to wash your bottom after you go number two. It is a standard practice like in many other countries, and every household has bathrooms with bidets. 

OP currently lives in a European country where it is not that common, but you can still find a few houses that do have a bidet, and some people here wash, and others wipe, but neither choice is strange to the other group. 

The Bidet At OP’s Place 

Toilet bowl and bidet in the modern bathroom. 3d illustration
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

OP happens to live in a house with 2 bathrooms: a small one with a toilet and a sink, and a large one that also has a bathtub and a bidet. 

OP says, “When I have guests, I usually point them to the small bathroom but only because it is closer to the area we usually hang out.”

What Happened Last Weekend?

Young friends having barbecue party, outdoors
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Last weekend OP and her wife (40s) had a bunch of friends over for a BBQ since the weather was nice and they have a terrace. One of OP’s friends brought Kelly (30s, not real name) who is from the US and OP has never met before. 

Everything was going well and OP thought Kelly was nice. OP was grilling sausages and at one point she took one out to give it to someone and she dropped it on Kelly’s feet, who was wearing flip-flops.

OP apologized profusely and handed Kelly a napkin, she said not to worry but she preferred to wash, so she leaves while OP stays on the terrace cleaning the floor. 

Kelly Comes Back From The Bathroom

Photo of shocked young person hands on cheeks open mouth cant believe isolated on pink color background.
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

She comes back a moment later and comments on “how cute that their bathroom has a little foot washer”. OP and her wife were like what? And when she repeats OP says “Oh you mean the bidet?”

Kelly did not know what a bidet was, and when OP explained to her she was shocked, and asked if they actually use it to wash after going to the toilet, and OP says that her wife doesn’t (she’s from a country where this is not common) but OP does, and that’s when she lost it. 

When Kelly Flipped Out

Image Credits: Roman Samborskyi, Shutterstock

Kelly got agitated and furious and asked why they didn’t tell her. To which OP said she’s never had to explain to anyone what a bidet was before. She said they should’ve warned her, that they need to warn their guests that OP washes her behind there, that it is not “normal”, and that OP was a jerk. 

OP started naming some of the many, many countries that do wash as a cultural norm while also stating that here, even if people don’t have one, everyone knows what it is, but she completely went nuts when she realized that the little towel hanging next to it is for drying OP’s bottom. 

“Seems like she used it to dry her feet and hands.”, says OP. 

The End

Image Credits: – Yuri A, Shutterstock

She left shortly after, along with OP’s friend. OP doesn’t think she did anything wrong, her wife thinks the same, but her friend said that OP should’ve apologized and another friend said she understood Kelly’s point. 

“Am I a jerk? I want to note that the bidet was clean.” Asks OP.

Some Additional Info 

hispanic pretty woman open-mouthed and amazed, shocked and astonished with an unbelievable surprise
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

OP later edited the post and added the following information:

“Just wanted to add that the “poop towel” as people are referring to, is the size of a napkin, and it hangs directly next to the bidet at about 40 cm from the floor, so I don’t see how anybody could mistake it for a normal towel.

Also, we don’t share the towel, each person has their own, it is just that I am the only one who uses the bidet, therefore only one towel. Last, the towel dries you after you clean, there is no poop, just like when you get out of the shower.”

She’s Just Angry Because She’s Embarrassed

Ashamed young woman hiding mouth with her hand
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

“Not the jerk. She’s just angry because she’s embarrassed. I’m also from a country where bidets aren’t common and I still know what one is. She could’ve just wiped her feet off with a wet napkin or something.” 

Kelly Is From The Woods Or What?

Ashamed bearded man dressed in plaid shirt standing isolated over white background, cover face
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

“Not the jerk – Kelly is a backwoods Neanderthal. I’m from the US and I know what a bidet is and we have bidet attachments on all of our toilets and we use them.

She just pitched a fit because she was embarrassed for not knowing.”

Kelly Is Ignorant And Lacks Common Knowledge

Portrait of an annoyed woman
Image Credit; Deposit Photos

“Kelly is ignorant (and an embarrassing US resident) and lacks common knowledge.  

Although bidets are not prevalent in the US, they are common enough that as a child growing up in the deep south, I knew what a bidet was before starting elementary school.

So Kelly is mistaken in her belief you need to tell everyone what the bidet is for and to warn them because most people are not so stupid to not already know.  And even if they were, she was rude to bring this up in the way that she did. Very poor manners.” 

A Cute Towel Sign Should Work

Close up portrait of disappointed, shocked, pretty, charming, stylish woman with wide open mouth and eyes, looking out glasses, holding eyelets with fingers, isolated on grey background
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

“But if you have guests over frequently you may consider getting a cute sign that says something to the effect of “this towel is for your cheeks, not your face” 

I can understand the towel confusion. I’ve heard of bidets before, but the butt towel is new to me.” 

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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.

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